2012/12/31 12:30 We came back from Pennsylvania to a lot of snow. There is a huge pile of snow in the front yard. Brego climbs to the top of the pile where she is taller than the van and then barks in defiance at the neighborhood. I think it's dogspeak for "Look at me Ma! I'm top of the world!"

Brego on snow pile.

2012/12/29 16:00

We took a walk outside to test out the little baby Alice's new winter coat.

We had dinner at the Iron Hill Brewpub. Alice was quite fashionable in her new hat.

2012/12/27 23:30

My two little princesses having fun together on Christmas.

Ride 'em cowgirl. Not exactly cowboy boots but they will do in a pinch. Merry Christmas.

Tristan opening presents.

Christmas morning 2012.

2012/12/25 23:00

Michael put on the tree topper. Now we are ready for Christmas.

Alice and Adison got the ornaments ready.

My annual picture with the antique at the Spaghetti Warehouse. I always wear the same shirt. I only wear this shirt once a year and just for this occasion. We were getting ready to go and Karen asked me what I was going to wear. What?

At the annual Redmond-Tennant Christmas dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse.

2012/12/23 23:00

No more jokes about the Mayan apocalypse. Last one.

“This is our Christmas tree”.

2012/12/21 10:30 The fiscal cliff looms. I just finished watching Boehner’s press conference. His deal couldn’t come to a vote last night because he couldn’t get enough support in his own party. He had indirect criticism of those people in his own party using the analogy of a lifeguard. There are 100 people drowning in a pool and you can only save 99 of them. So, as a matter of conscience, you don’t save any of them and let them all drown. Really?! This is the problem with the extremism that rules American politics today. It’s what we get for electing ideologues, zealots, diehards, fanatics, and nuts.

2012/12/21 23:00 I went to the mall, Destiny USA, tonight with my wife. At one point we separated. In my wanderings I scored a stuffed Big Bird for the little baby Alice. I was on my way back to meet up with Karen and I walked by a kiosk. An attractive woman approached me and she asked who I was shopping for. I pointed at the bag with my Sesame Street plush toy and said my granddaughter. She touched my arm and remarked that I didn’t look old enough to be a grandfather. She stroked my arm and told me how handsome I was. Her hand slipped in around my waist. “Before this goes any further I am not getting a lap dance and I am not buying any of the face cleanser that you are peddling. Sorry.” There is less than an hour left for the Mayan prophecy of apocalypse and doom to come true.

2012/12/22 16:00 Today is day one of the post-apocalypse. I have to say that as apocalypses go the Mayan version is kind of boring. It snowed last night. There was probably about five inches or so. I had to shovel. Just feeling like a big sigh is what’s needed today or at least that’s the best that I can come up with.

2012/12/21 09:30 What time does the world end today? This morning it is looking pretty un-apocalyptic. It rained fairly heavily last night and there is standing water in my yard. The rain is slowly changing to snow. It is that heavy wet snow with big fat snowflakes that drift lazily to the ground and plop. Yesterday we went out and bought our Christmas tree. Tristan helped to pick it out. I will get the tree set up today. Ten days left for a deal to avoid the fiscal cliff. Let’s get it done.

Alice and Adison watching otters and enjoying tofu in a styrofoam container.

Alice watching the squirrels.

2012/12/20 13:30 My daughter Adison came by the house today to eat her lunch (some kind of tofu in a styrofoam container) and to watch TV while eating said lunch. Alice and I weren't home as we were out running errands. Adison knew the combination to the key safe. This is very exciting because I thought no one knew the combination to the key safe. She got the key out and it wouldn't work. Yeah, now I remember, after I changed the combination to the key safe I changed the locks on the doors and then never put a new key in the safe. Oops. Even if I had remembered the combination on Tuesday night Michael still would have had to go in through the bathroom window. Alice and I got home just as Adison was leaving and we let her in. Alice and Adison sat together and watched otters on PBS while Adison ate tofu in a styrofoam container.

2012/12/20 08:30 Yesterday Alice and I went to the Redmond’s for another play date. Alice seemed to have the most fun watching out the window the eight squirrels eating the seed from the bird feeders. Last night I had bowling and bowled my best series this season; 140,152, and 149. From bowling Michael and I went to play in our pool league and I lost again. Haven’t won a match yet. Still having fun though.

2012/12/19 11:30

We are rockin' the Santa hat!!

Michelle and the little baby Alice at Tully's.

Alice and Tristan enjoying dinner at Tully's.

Last night we went out to dinner at Tully’s. I was going to meet Karen and Michelle there. I was bringing Michael, Tristan, and Alice. I got Tristan and Alice buckled into their car seats and I then realized my keys were in my other pants in the house. We were locked out of the house. It was a cold and rainy night. Fortunately I have a key safe by the front door. Not so fortunately I recently changed the combination and I can’t remember what I changed it to. I stood in that very cold rain and tried various combinations and had no luck. Michael and I went around to the rear of the house and were able to get the bathroom window in the basement open. Fortunately Michael is skinny enough to fit through the window. There is no way I could get through that window. Having retrieved the keys we set off for Tully’s. Michelle was there when we got there. We took our seats and were waiting for Karen to get there from work. Michelle was teaching Alice how to do ‘cheers’ for the holidays and the little baby Alice ended up wearing a full glass of apple juice. Luckily she is the sweetest and most even tempered of little girls and the sticky wet mishap didn’t faze her at all. Karen arrived and we had a very nice dinner. We were going to get our Christmas tree after dinner but it was so wet and cold out that we put it off. This morning Tristan climbed into bed with Karen and I and he peed the bed right next to me. I got Alice up this morning and I changed and dressed her like I do every morning. I carried her dirty diaper down to the trash and it was steaming hot. It was the freshest of fresh poops and I was lucky enough to have been there and done that. I will be washing the dirty sheets today. Once again I state for the record that my retirement is not quite as glamorous as I had anticipated.

Enough said I guess.

2012/12/18 09:00 Does anyone know what time the world ends on Friday? Does it happen in the morning or can we still make ‘happy hour’? A couple of days ago I posted a quote attributed to Morgan Freeman. It turns out that was an internet hoax. Stupid internet. No new freckle for Morgan for that explanation I guess.

2012/12/19 09:30

2012/12/16 10:00 I think I am going to try a scientific experiment. I am going to weigh a Kleenex dry or unused. Then I am going to weigh the Kleenex after I have blown my nose. I want to find out the total weight for a day that I am blowing out my nose. Seems that it might be a significant amount.

2012/12/17 08:30

2012/12/16 09:00 It is Sunday morning. We are halfway through the first Winter month for this Winter season. It may be a short Winter season as we are five days from the Mayan apocalypse. Or not. The news now is all about the horrific school shooting in Newton, Connecticut. I think the best thing said on the shooting was said by Morgan Freeman. He said, “You want to know why {these shootings keep happening}. This may sound cynical, but here’s why. It’s because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single victim of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he’ll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody. CNN’s article says that if the body count “holds up”, this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer’s face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer’s identity? None that I've seen yet. Because they don’t sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you've just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next. You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news." Well said. Not to be disrespectful but I can’t help it that when Morgan Freeman explains something now it makes me think of the “South Park” episode that aired the night after Obama was re-elected. Morgan Freeman gets another freckle every time he explains something. Karen and I have been doing some Christmas shopping. Her more than me. On Friday night we were out shopping and we were in the store Five Below when I overheard some guy telling a friend that no one’s journey through parenthood could be complete until they stepped on a Lego in their bare feet in the morning. Too funny! It’s funny to think how different our Christmas would be this year and how different Christmas shopping would be if we didn’t have the grandkids. I have some seriously packed sinuses right now. I guess that’s probably how it’s going to be until Spring and we get some warmer weather. I watched the movie “Drive” last night streamed on Netflix. The movie got good reviews and a lot of people thought it was great. I don’t know. It was pretty strange. Can’t say I would recommend it. Ryan Gosling played the main character. We never got any insight as to why the character was the way he was. I guess I would say that I just found the film to be unsatisfying. Halfway through December and still no snow. We had some that stuck to the grass for a few hours but nothing that has stuck to the pavement. I’m not complaining. I know that I am going to want a week in a warm place come January or February to clean out my sinuses. I’ll have to see if there is a way to make that work. Our dog has an empty plastic gallon jug that used to hold Arizona Tea’s Arnold Palmer Light. It is her favorite toy. She stands at the top of the stairs and drops it down the stairs. She then runs down the stairs and retrieves the plastic jug so she can repeat the process. I think she did it twenty times yesterday morning.

Found the perfect gift for the serious Giants fan. But, I don’t know any giants fans with little babies or that are expecting little babies. A little NY Giants pacifier – how cute!

2012/12/13 23:00 At this point I am considering the possibility that I have changed more diapers with my granddaughter than I ever did with my own kids. I am not saying that is a bad thing or a good thing. I am just saying that it feels like it might be true. My wife might find it some kind of payback for all the diapers I didn’t change but to be fair I was working a lot when my kids were little. I was working long hours with a commute that was one hour each way. My wife stayed home with the kids while I worked. Now, my wife Karen is working while I stay home with the little baby Alice. Karen was seriously craving a hamburger after work and so we went to Red Robin. I have to say Red Robin has the best burgers. Adison came and joined us at Red Robin. After the burgers Karen and I went and did a little shopping while Adison went to our house to do some laundry.

Waking up from nap time.

Alice and Brego napping.

2012/12/12 17:00 Alice woke up early today. When she wakes up early she usually takes a nap. She fell asleep on the couch with Brego.

Sean reading to the little baby Alice. This was Alice’s idea. The first few times that Sean and I met for breakfast at Ruston’s, Alice was so intimidated by Sean that she wouldn’t get off my lap.

I went grocery shopping tonight with the pirate. Once I got the pirate and all of the pirate’s stuffed animals into the cart there is very little room left for groceries. This is especially true because the pirate is adamant that no groceries touch the pirate or the pirate’s stuffed animals. The pirate has suggested that I push a second cart around the grocery store. The first cart would be solely for the pirate, the pirate’s stuffed animals, the pirate’s sister, and the pirate sister’s stuffed animals. The second cart could be used for groceries. I have resisted the suggestion despite how much good sense it makes.

Leah and Alice watching “Max and Ruby”.

2012/12/09 23:00 Last night Karen and I went to Scott Hay’s annual Christmas wine party. Had a good time. We ended up staying out well past midnight. Sunday draws to a close. Alice and I were watching Sesame Street on the TIVO tonight; in HiDef. Alice put stickers on me.

2012/12/10 16:00 Four poopy diapers today (so far). Unbelievable. And really nasty. How does something so vile and putrid come from my sweet little baby Alice? The smell has some serious hang time. Karen says I should potty train her. Secretly I am looking into the possibility of a medically induced coma (for me). Wake me when it’s all done.

2012/12/11 16:00 Alice and I went to the Redmond’s for a play date today. We had a good time and I left with six assorted homebrews that Sean had made. My assignment is to try the beers and offer my critiques. That’s a project that I can get on board for.

Cartoons in the Saturday Post Standard.

2012/12/08 14:00 This whole ‘fiscal cliff” thing is really starting to annoy me. We need a deal and we need it now. We need for our elected officials to step up and do the right thing. I can’t believe there isn’t more public outcry for a solution. I think most people don’t really understand how this is going to impact them. If we go over the cliff there are going to be a lot of rude awakenings come January. I got some more information on the apocalypse today. A scientist from NASA explained the Mayan calendar. He said there have been fears of the world ending every year at his house for as long as he can remember. He says every year the calendar shows the world ending on December 31. His family has solved the problem each year by buying a new calendar. His take on the Mayan prophecy of doom is that it’s time for the Mayans to chisel out a new calendar. Karen and I are going to Scott Hay’s annual Christmas wine party tonight.

2012/12/06 09:00 I have mentioned here before that I finally got a HiDef flat screen TV. Once I had the new TV I missed not having a HiDef signal coming in. I upgraded my TIVO and got the new top of the line HD TIVO with 4 tuners and 2 terabytes of storage. The new TIVO unit is digital only and won’t work with my cable system without an ‘M-card’ that you install in the TIVO unit. I ordered the card from Time Warner. Turns out you also need what they call a tuning adapter. Don’t you think when you order the M-card they would talk to you about the tuning adapter? Oh well, I ordered the tuning adapter and soon got everything set up and working great. With the new TIVO unit I can access Netflix on the new TV. Last night I watched “Dinosaur Island” streamed from Netflix. The 1994 movie is about a small group of army misfits that crash on an island inhabited only by cavewomen and dinosaurs. The movie has really cheesy special effects, lots of gratuitous nudity, and some bad acting. The girls in the movie are not what you see in Hollywood now; the likes of Megan Fox and Kristen Stewart. Those girls are pretty but they are very thin. The girls playing the cavewomen were thick. Very voluptuous, with heavy thighs and big round butts running around in their loincloths with anachronistic tan lines. What a hoot. In the mornings now I watch the financial news on CNBC; “Squawk on the Street”. I like Jim Cramer. I did not opt for a pension when I left the Evil Empire. I cashed out and took a lump sum pay out. I have been very aggressively trading my portfolio. I always wanted to be a fund manager and always thought it was something I could do. Now I have the chance to put my money where my mouth is. The thing is this whole ‘fiscal cliff’ thing is really pissing me off. We need a deal. If congress leaves for recess without a deal this will be completely unacceptable. Can you imagine being in private business and your boss comes to you and says we have the most crucial project in the history of the company due before year end. And you say, “sorry, I’d like to help but I’ll be vacationing in the Berkshires”. I have the feeling your boss might say something like, “okay, you might as well stay there”. The insanity that was the cold war was based on a premise known as MAD; mutually assured destruction. On CNBC they have made the case that a better term for the ‘fiscal cliff’ might be mutually assured financial destruction. No one is going to win and no one is going to be unharmed if we go over the cliff. CNBC has a campaign called “Rise Above”. The politicians need to rise above the politics and get the deal done that the nation needs. Most of the analysts believe a deal done could push the Dow up one thousand points.

Alice and Brego watching Sesame Street.

2012/12/05 09:00

Photo booth fun at the Bristol Employees Christmas party.

We were sitting at the lucky table. Karen and I weren't lucky ourselves but Jamie and Katie won the raffle for the 42 inch flat screen TV and Diana won the 50/50 for 160 dollars.

2012/12/01 10:00 It is Saturday morning and it is the first day of December. It is the first day of the Winter months for the 2012/2013 Winter season. It is the start of my fifth month of retirement. Tonight Karen and I have her company Christmas party to attend. There were exactly 300 page views for the website in November. Karen and I are off to Panera for coffee and then we will be heading out to dump our trash for the week in Jamesville at the recycling plant.

2012/12/02 11:00 Karen and I went to the Bristol Employees Association Christmas party last night. It was the first time in many years that we went to the party where one of us wasn't sick. The curse may have been broken.

2012/11/30 18:00 If I can't be a good example or an inspiration for others then at the very least maybe I can be a cautionary tale and hopefully a somewhat interesting one.

2012/11/30 11:00

Alice loves Sesame Street and Elmo and Abby. She loves watching Sesame Street with Brego.

2012/11/25 09:00 We had to postpone Thanksgiving. Wednesday before Thanksgiving I went to see Robert. I was feeling sick all day but it got worse as I sat and talked to him. When I left I ended up throwing up in the parking lot. The cold air and the congestion in my lungs were too much. I went home and crawled into bed. I didn’t have a sore throat but I had a persistent cough, congestion, aches, and a really bad case of the chills. The refrigerator had a turkey and all the fixings in it but since I am the one that assembles the Thanksgiving Day feast and I wasn’t leaving bed we postponed Thanksgiving.

2012/11/27 22:00 So, we ended up just canceling Thanksgiving this year. I was sick on Thanksgiving and then Karen was sick Saturday and Sunday. Adison got sick and my parents got sick. I went to the doctor and she said that I most likely had had the flu. Even though I had gotten a flu shot I still probably had the flu. The flu lingered long enough that I ended up with a sinus infection, an ear infection, and bronchitis. The bronchitis dropped into my chest and I now have pneumonia. She put me on a course of antibiotics.

2012/11/21 10:00 Everyone in the house is sick; coughing and runny noses. The car won't start and Burghardt’s can't take it into the shop until Monday. I am trapped in the house with two whiny kids. Tristan lies on the couch and barks out orders. "Pop pop! Get a tissue. Alice has boogers hanging from her nose. She's disgusting. Fix her!" I get a washcloth and run it under hot water so it gets warm. I wring it out and then use it to gently wash Alice's face. She reacts as if she's being 'waterboarded'. My retirement plans seem to have come to full fruition. Physically I feel as if my condition is deteriorating. I seem to be getting sicker. Emotionally I sometimes can't help but feel overwhelmed.

Thanksgiving treats at Fremont Elementary.

2012/11/20 15:00 Karen and I took Alice to Fremont Elementary to see Tristan and the Thanksgiving treats that he and his class had made.

2012/11/14 23:30 Tonight was my pool league. We had a practice table in the back of the hall. I walked back to the practice table where my son Michael was already practicing and I had a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon in my hand. Michael was rather incredulous and he said, “I thought your palette was too refined to drink cheap beer in a can?” I said, “A cute young girl bought me a beer so I am going to drink it.” Michael asked even more incredulously, “Why would a cute young girl buy you a beer?” I confessed that I was standing next to Jeremy when said beer was purchased and I was probably just included as a matter of politeness. Doesn’t matter, a cute young girl, Jeremy and Tinti’s cousin Christina, bought me a beer and I drank PBRs while playing pool.

2012/11/17 22:00 Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I am thankful, don’t get me wrong. But, wouldn’t it be nice to be thankful because things couldn’t get any better instead of thankful because things could sure be a whole lot worse? Every year around the holidays I get a little sad. And maybe I get a little more anxious than usual. I think a big part of the problem is the unreasonable expectations that are placed on us. I mean, we are supposed to be so happy right? And the merchandising and the marketing is just ridiculous. In this stupid Subaru advertisement the father was the best dad in the world because he had an all-wheel drive Subaru Forester. You are supposed to think that maybe your kids would be better adjusted and happier if only you had gotten an all-wheel drive Subaru. It’s been awhile since I was in therapy but I remember my therapist explaining that one of my problems (and I have more than one) was that I have an unreasonable need to fix things. When I can’t fix things I get anxious and often retreat. You can’t fix history. You can’t change the past. The holidays seem a time to reflect and so it is an anxious time for me.

2012/11/10 23:00

Tristan at the Syracuse Crunch hockey game earlier tonight. Popcorn, cotton candy, nachos, a big foam finger, and we watched a little hockey too.

2012/11/08 13:00

We don't wear the hat because it's cold or windy but just because it makes us look so darn cute.

The little baby Alice is busy texting her peeps while Tristan plays Sonic the Hedgehog on Playstation.

2012/11/05 19:00

2012/11/04 09:00 It is Sunday morning. We set the clocks back an hour last night. I guess you are supposed to get an extra hour of sleep but it just means I got up an hour earlier today. That’s okay. Yesterday I got a new TV. I think I was probably one of the last people in America to get a flat screen. I guess eventually I am going to have to get a high def signal coming in. I think it is going to be difficult to upgrade to digital cable with my TIVO. I will probably have to upgrade the TIVO box next. It is the start of November. It is the start of month four of my retirement. While not everything has gone as planned I am still happy with my decision to take an early retirement. Last month in October there were 270 page views of the website. I am very far behind in getting my collections up on the site. The site is due for a major upgrade. I still have the occasional anxiety attack. Karen thinks that since I retired and left the Evil Empire behind I shouldn’t have anxiety issues anymore. I don’t think it works like that. I am definitely much happier now that I am retired. I am settling into my new life but there are adjustments that need to be made and it has only been three months. I went to see my cardiologist on Friday. I had the semi-annual checkup and got a flu shot. They also did a sonogram of my heart and everything is looking very good. Everything is the right size and all the valves are working the way they should. I am very lucky. At this point there is no evidence that I had had a heart attack. Everything has healed up nicely. I still need to lose some weight and I still need to get to the gym on a regular basis. I am working on those issues. I haven’t done any of the things that I wanted to do when I retired. I can make excuses but really what is holding me back is me. I need to just do. Just do it.

2012/11/02 09:00 Wednesday, Halloween, was a busy day. In the morning I went to Fremont Elementary to see Tristan in his Halloween parade. That was fun. After that, Tristan, Alice, and I drove to LaFayette to my parents’ house and then we all drove to Ithaca to get Adison’s car. Adison was supposed to fly from Washington State back to Ithaca but because of Hurricane Sandy she had to change her flight to one that was landing in Rochester. We got her car and brought it back to LaFayette. Later that day I fed the kids and got them in their costumes. Michael and I started them out trick or treating. Karen had to bowl. When Karen finished bowling she came and took over trick or treat duties and Michael and I went to play in our pool league. Last night my parents and I drove to Rochester to get Adison at the airport. I had driven Adison’s car from Ithaca to LaFayette which is about an hour drive. Adison is a hard working girl. She is going to grad school and works two jobs and trains for and runs in half marathons. Her car is a mess. Lots of empty coffee cups and some fast food wrappers. Anyways when I drove the car to LaFayette it smelled horrible. I mean it smelled really bad. I thought she must have left a fish sandwich in the car while she was gone for over a week. When we got back to LaFayette from the Rochester airport I told Adison, “Oh yeah, by the way your car smells really horrible”. She opened the door and then she screamed. Turns out it wasn’t a fish sandwich. There was a pumpkin on the floor behind the driver’s seat that was in an advanced stage of decomposition. I got a shovel to try and get the remains out of the car but it was putrid pumpkin soup and didn’t shovel well. I think she is going to take the car to Delta Sonic to have it detailed. Hope the people at Delta have haz-mat suits.

Tristan and Alice trick or treating. It was fun trick or treating with the kids. It was really nice that Uncle Michael came along.

khan tiki mon's rants and rambles v.6.85

The end of the world on December 21, 2012 looms large on the horizon. That's if those Mayans are to be believed. My theory is they were chipping out the calendar on a big old piece of rock and they ran out of room. They were too lazy to get another big rock and said "looks like the world ends here". I'm not taking any chances though. I quit the Evil Empire so I could live a free man for a little while at least before the zombie apocalypse begins. This edition of Khan Tiki Mon's Rants and Rambles is either the final chapter or just a bump in the road.

This latest iteration of my rants and rambles will be much like past versions. The key components will be unchanged. There still may be too much information shared and I am still most definitely weird as all get out. Let the journey continue.