Worked on the grilling platform today. Used almost a gallon of stain.
2018/06/19 17:00
Let the Summer begin...
2018/06/14 16:00
2018/06/12 08:00 Today is my birthday. Happy birthday to me. Of late I have been feeling old. That’s a new feeling for me. For most of my life I have felt like a young person trapped in an aging body. One good thing in my aging process is that I am now only a year away from collecting social security. I have had issues with depression off and on for as long as I can remember. I think if you are fortunate enough to have never experienced depression it is a hard concept to understand. When I had a heart attack at an early age I became seriously depressed. My wife made me see a therapist and I took an anti-depressant. It helped me get through things. I don't see a therapist anymore and I stopped taking the anti-depressant. I still have moments where I am depressed but I am better able to cope now than I was. The therapy helped a lot. It's a cliche but you aren't the only one who feels off sometimes. It's okay. If you need help ask for it and take advantage of it when offered. I have been feeling depressed more often lately. My particular problem is known as Fear of Completion, or Completion Anxiety Disorder. Fear of Completion is a form of depression. When my depression manifests itself in action, or more accurately inaction, my wife sometimes thinks it is directed at her. It is not. It is all internal. One needs to understand that anxiety and phobias are not rational. The fear of completion is ultimately rooted in the fear of things ending. All fear is ultimately ones fear of nonexistence. The manufactured sense of the fear of things ending is resistance to the fact that everything will end and you don’t have any power over when. Completion is in part a loss. You are leaving something you have become attached to or accustomed to. When you are doing it or when you have it you own it. Once completed it is over. It is final. Again, I have to stress that anxiety and phobias are not rational. You sweep the garage and then don’t pick up the pile you made. Rationally you know that by not picking up the pile, by not completing the task, you are not going to prevent everything you know and love from coming to an end. It’s not even a conscious decision not to complete the task. You don’t think about it that much. When it comes to creative expression things get more involved. I think I have the soul of an artist even if I have no talent. I feel the need to create. Completing something just means it will be imperfect. Anthony Bourdain committed suicide a few days ago. He was just about one year older than me. I think his death has made many people think about depression. In his public persona he always seemed so happy and so in love with life. I can honestly say that I have never considered suicide as an option. I have at really low points in my life thought about just giving up and ‘bugging’ out; heading somewhere warm and living out my days as a homeless person. Or just walking the Earth like Kwai Chang Caine. This has been some musings on my birthday. Don’t pay too much attention. Peace out my peeps.
2018/06/20 14:00
2018/06/01 13:00 Went to the Taste of Syracuse today. Karen and I went with Adison and Elliott. It was very hot.
2018/06/26 12:00 I planted a hydrangia in front of the Minor Gate today.
2018/06/22 09:30 Watching "Tumble Leaf". Next up a power nap and then outside to work before the rains come.
2018/06/08 13:00 When I am posting something using my mobile device and my fat fingers are struggling the most suggested auto correct that I get is 'Hawaii'. Maybe my phone is trying to tell me something.
I overheard a guy telling a girl, probably his girlfriend, that no one goes to the Taste of Syracuse anymore because it has gotten so crowded. Too funny. I went to the craft beer tent. The girl serving beer in my line was quite buxom and she was wearing a low cut clingy top with spaghetti straps and no bra. The guy in front of me got his beer and as he took a sip she asked, "How is it?" He said, "Great body." Maybe one of the last places you can get away with the double entendre.
Alice helped me put the top on the gazebo.
2018/06/15 16:00
2018/06/04 10:00 Got my helper today. At Home Depot to get some gasket material. Had to try out all the riding mowers. With my helper things don't take much more than four or five times as long.
2018/06/02 13:00 Today we went to the zoo for Alice's graduation from zoo camp.
2018/06/17 20:00
Alice makes friends wherever she goes.
2018/06/08 15:00 Michelle was in town for a few days and she came to the house to help out with a video.
All my kids and grandkids were here for Father's Day.
2018/06/13 16:00
2018/06/07 19:00
2018/06/27 13:00 It started raining this morning about eight. I planted four privet bushes outside the Minor Gate. I worked in the rain and it got very muddy.
2018/06/25 17:00 More work was done on the Minor Gate today. Cleaned out and ready for some plants and mulch.
2018/06/16 13:00
2018/06/02 15:00 Lifeguard duties begin.
2018/06/24 13:00
Life is a lemon and I want my money back
It's all or nothing
And nothing's all I ever get
Every time I turn it on, I burn it up and burn it out
It's always something
There's always something going wrong
That's the only guarantee, that's what this is all about
It's a never ending attack
Everything's a lie and that's a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back
And all the morons
And all the stooges with their coins
They're the ones who make the rules, it's not a game it's just a rout
There's desperation
There's desperation in the air
It leaves a stain on all your clothes and no detergent gets it out
And we're always slipping through the cracks
Then the movie's over, fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back
Meatloaf
Worked on the inside of the Minor Gate today. Then Karen and I went to Empire Brewing for my birthday. A bowl of Big Easy Gumbo and a Black Magic Stout makes everything right with the world.
2018/06/02 19:00 After swimming Karen and I took Tristan and Alice to the Taste of Syracuse.
This morning we went the award ceremony at Alice's school. Two students in each class got the sportsmanship award and two kids in each class got the citizenship award. Alice got both. I was impressed and proud.
I did more work on the grilling platform today. I got more of the outside stained.
I have issues. I always have, I still do, and I probably always will. I have the whole Completion Anxiety Disorder thing going but I also have a major problem with deadlines. I am completely paralyzed by deadlines. This was a problem for me in school, was a problem for me at work, and has been a problem for me in my personal life. Things are what they are and I am who I am. Sorry.
2018/06/26 15:30 I started building a platform for my grills last year. I wasn’t able to finish it before the snows came. I was late getting started on it this year because there was snow almost every day in April and I wasn’t able to bring out my tools. I have been fighting depression since the beginning of April at least. The one thing that snaps me out of it is working on my grilling platform. The scope of the project keeps increasing and my wife may have referred to this as a fortress formy grills. I was going to get a small refrigerator to accompany my grills. I was thinking something like a dorm refrigerator but the one with a freezer on top. Then I saw this at Home Depot. I picked it up today and in doing so I kind of started a little fan club. I was loading it onto a flatbed cart and this guy came over and he said, “Are you buying that?” I said I was and he said that was awesome. He said he might get one for his camp. Another guy came over and he said, “Are you buying that?” I couldn’t answer because the first guy started yelling, “Yes, he is. It is awesome.” I collected a bit of a crowd and everybody was offering to help me load it into my van. This made me happy. 7.6 cubic feet of happiness.
2018/06/08 23:00 Karen and I went to dinner with Michelle and Trevor. We celebrated Trevor's birthday.
2018/06/12 23:00
After graduation we walked around the zoo and saw the new dinosaur exhibits.
2018/06/26 20:00 I have been cleaning my tin signs and then putting spar varnish on them. It is supposed to rain tomorrow. I hung another batch of signs.
2018/06/06 08:00 Elliott found a slinky in the Finding Place this morning. "It is really springily".
2018/06/10 13:30 Pool is open and it's a nice day.
2018/06/21 12:45 My helper likes the sawdust my table saw makes.
“Summer has always been my favorite season. I feel happier.” —Zooey Deschanel
“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” —William Shakespeare
“When I figured out how to work my grill, it was quite a moment. I discovered that summer is a completely different experience when you know how to grill.” —Taylor Swift
2018/06/08 12:00 Planted a new lilac next to the old one. Had my helper with me.
At Tristan's baseball game. Tristan is on deck, next to bat, and getting some instruction from the coach.
Put some more trim on the grilling platform.
2018/06/08 08:00 My wife put me in a very weird nursing home. That was the nightmare I had last night. Very sad.
Work continues on the Minor Gate.
Elliott driving the National Guard's Humvee.
This latest iteration of my rants and rambles will still be much like past versions. I will continue to share way too much information. I will continue to be as weird as always. I am most likely still incredibly boring.
2018/06/28 14:00 Karen and I are headed to Lake George for Ohana: Luau at the Lake.
This supercool apron was a Father's Day gift from my daughter.
Episode 11.00; She Handed Him a Ticket to Passion...
Newest episode now available. Click on the picture above to go to the video.
2018/06/22 19:00 I got a lot done today on the grilling platform. It is becoming a fortress for my grills.
2018/06/07 13:00 I have two gates to my back yard. I refer to them as the Minor Gate and the Major Gate. Neither gate is finished. The site that is my Minor Gate had been sorely neglected. My helper Elliott and I have been working on the Minor Gate.
Work continues outside.
2018/06/10 10:00
khan tiki mon's rants and rambles v.12.42
Went to Tristan's advancement ceremony today. He is leaving the elementary school and will be entering the Middle School next year.
While I am outside slaving in the hot sun the animals are napping in the air conditioning.
2018/06/09 08:45 Shot a new video yesterday featuring Deadhead Rum - should be up in a day or so - stay tuned.