Adison helping to babysit Tristan.

2009/03/15 14:00 Karen and I had a fundraising breakfast to attend this morning. Last night I had set my alarm for 8:00 AM. When the alarm went off Karen started yelling at me, “what the hell are you doing? Shut that off!” I turned off the alarm and the way I fell back asleep was almost scary. I fell right into a deep deep sleep and started a very vivid dream. I was running from someone and they were after me with guns and meant me harm. I ducked into a very seedy hotel and then from the lobby I entered the men’s room. As soon as I was through the door I knew I was in a special place. The room was tiled in gleaming white. The fixtures were solid gold. As I moved deeper into the restroom there were sensors that turned on lights. There was a gas fired fireplace that ‘wooshed’ to life as I passed and it made the room feel warm and safe. The flames from the fire danced in reflections off the gleaming golden faucets. I approached the urinal and it too was gleaming white. The water was sparkling clear. The flush mechanism was like a waterfall and the water cascaded in the white porcelain. I hadn’t had to use the bathroom when I entered. My only thoughts when I had entered were just to survive the assassin or assassins that were hot on my trail. But the urinal was so inviting that I felt compelled. I was jolted out of my porcelain paradise like I had been tasered by the revelation that I was just about to wet the bed. I rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom in the nick of time. Karen woke up and we left for the breakfast about 9:30. This past week I have been slowly bringing Tiki objects into my workspace in an effort to improve my attitude. Marguerite had been watching the transformation of my cube and she brought me a Tiki mug. It is an Orchids of Hawaii design, made in Japan. Orchids at some point ceased to exist and their designs turned up as Dynasty and are now made in China. This particular mug that Marguerite gave me is marked on the back “Ichiban Japanese Steak House” and based on the fact that Marguerite thinks she may have gotten this during her prom I am saying this piece is from the early 1970s. It is a truly nice addition to my collection. Adison was home for the weekend. She got invited to a St Patrick’s day party and she decided to go back to college Saturday night for the party. I let her take the van because she took some furniture back to college. This morning she called to say she had had an accident on the off ramp of interstate 690 about 2 miles from our house. She rear ended a Jeep and broke my headlight.

Karen babysitting Tristan.

2009/03/07 11:00 For Christmas this year Karen got me a little tabletop fountain. It runs on house current. I took it to work and it is on my filing cabinet in my cube. On Thursday Catherine, who works down the hall, stopped at my cube and inquired about my fountain. I explained that it wasn’t operational yet because I didn’t have an extension cord and that I called it my “Serenity Fountain”. She asked, “it’s so you don’t kill people here at work, right?” I said, “yes, exactly.” “That’s a really good idea,” she said, “I need to get one of those.” “Well,” I said, “truth be told, mine really isn’t big enough.” Marguerite later said, “Yeah, we need one big enough to sit in!” Work continues to be a source of irritation for me. Considering that the unemployment figures released yesterday show the jobless rate at 8.1 percent (we need to hit 10 percent to officially be in a depression) I should probably just consider myself to be lucky. To that end I have been making a conscious effort to improve my attitude. The fountain is part of that. I am also bringing some of my Tiki stuff to work. Having things I like around me in my workspace has been helping. Last night after work I went to Tully’s for happy hour. Kevin was back in town from Massachusetts and his Syracuse friends Pete and Jake were there as well as some people from Bristol. Karen was supposed to meet me there, and she did, but she was late. She had taken a half day vacation in order to get in a power nap and she had a hard time getting up. She still wasn’t feeling well and she went home early. I stayed later and as the crowd thinned out I ended up having a really nice conversation with Kim. We got into some very interesting dialogues on religion and other taboo topics. She’s a nice girl and her ex-husband must be a complete idiot. She was going to karaoke later that night. I have to admit that after my first exposure to karaoke that night at the Jukebox with Mike and Zane I have been kind of interested in another karaoke night. But, I went home and watched “Battlestar Galactica”.

2009/03/01 23:00 There was a scene in “Battlestar Galactica” tonight that really hit me. Starbuck complains of feeling adrift, having lost her purpose. She receives the counsel, “...sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don’t know your direction doesn’t mean you don’t have one.” Those words could be, metaphorically speaking, like a life preserver to a drowning person.

2009/03/01 16:00 letter to Michael Hey Michael, how’s every little thing? How’s life in the military treating you? Hope this note finds you well. Your Mom and I went to Freedom of Espresso for coffee this morning like we usually do (she says to tell you that I’m not doing my chores). We didn’t visit Robert today. He has graduated to lock down and so doesn’t get as many visits. How did he manage to get lock down you might be wondering. Well, it seems someone stole his Cheetos. He couldn’t stand for that and he confronted the Cheetos thief and demanded his Cheetos be returned. The Cheetos thief refused to return the Cheetos and punches were exchanged. After the Cheetos incident there was a hearing and Robert, the Cheetos victim, and the Cheetos thief were both sentenced to 20 days in lock down. Do you get Cheetos where you are? We picked up Tristan for a visit today. He is sleeping on the couch right now. We wore him out taking him to Wegmans. He is a big help. We got dog bones for Missy in the bulk foods aisle and he put them all in the bag for me. He put a broken bone in the bag and I asked him not to put anymore broken bones in the bag and from there on he sorted out just the best bones. Adison got her windshield fixed and at the same time got a new door put on the car. Not a new door but a new to her door. It came off some junker most likely. Now she has a car with all the glass intact and the windows actually work. She said it’s like the car is brand new. I never did get to see the cardboard window she had made. We got 4 new tires on the Saturn this week. The car doesn’t make the horrible thumping noises like it did and when it’s raining or snowing out you actually stop where you want to and you don’t have to brace for the impact that, fortunately, never came. We drove the car too long on balding tires. We were lucky. Now the van is making brake noises that I’m sure is going to cost me a couple of hundred dollars at least. I hate cars. Our rental when we are in San Antonio is supposed to be a Pontiac G6. I am going to buy a Chevy HHR and turn it into a Woodie. I am going to do the wood paneling on the sides myself. I will have the car painted in a color like seafoam and have flames stenciled on the hood. I am going to get a roof rack on it to carry surfboards. I will get a couple of classic longboards and then carry them around wherever I go. Have you ridden in an Air Force plane yet? How long are you in the Air Force before you fly in a plane? It was very very cold yesterday but there is almost no snow. Most of it has melted. I am very ready for Spring to be here. Friday was your Grandma’s birthday. Your Mom and I took Dinosaur Barbeque out to LaFayette. We also stopped at Green Hills and got half moon cookies. We took two TV trays with us because I didn’t want to eat Dinosaur on my lap. Your Grandma and I shared one tray and your Grandpa and Mom shared the other tray. They were two of the old trays we haven’t been using so we left them there with your Grandparents. The next time we go out we’ll take the remaining two trays because I’m sure the first two will have been filled up by then. There’s not much else to report. My life is not that exciting. Not like yours. I am very excited about the trip to San Antonio. I can hardly wait. We’ll see you soon. Love, Dad.

2009/02/16 09:00 letter to Michael Dear Michael, it sure has been nice to get your letters and to hear how things are going for you. I’m sure boot camp is tough and very challenging but I also have no doubt that you are going to do great. I am very proud of you and I’m behind you all the way. Your Mom and I are looking forward to seeing you in San Antonio. We already have the plane tickets and the motel reservations. We just need to get a rental car lined up. I’m looking forward to visiting you. We visited your brother yesterday. We visited him in jail. I don’t know how much you know so I’ll just tell you this. The day you left for basic Robert got kicked out of rehab. Since rehab was a condition of his probation failing was a violation. A few days later they picked him up and he’s now settled into Jamesville Correctional. I think he’s going to be there for at least 4 months. I don’t know if you knew the kid from Robert’s soccer team, Bryan Honold? Well, he overdosed on heroin a few days ago and died. He was a nice kid when I knew him and his mother was very nice. It’s so sad that so many kids get their lives off in the wrong direction, cause such heartache, and often come to tragic ends. You probably don’t want to hear this, and I probably shouldn’t tell, but you missed an awesome Super Bowl. It wasn’t as good as the Giants beating the Patriots but I’d put it second. I was cheering for the Cardinals because I thought it was cool that their quarterback was an old guy who was supposed to be just warming the bench until retirement. He almost pulled it off. Your Mom and I watched the Super Bowl by ourselves. We didn’t get invited to any parties and your Grandma and Grandpa couldn’t come over because, as you know, your Grandpa broke his ankle. We didn’t even have pizza and wings while we were watching the game. We had salads. You also missed the new “Underworld” movie. If you were here we would have gone to see it (unless you blew me off for your friends – ha ha). I didn’t go to see it. It was a prequel to the others and didn’t have Kate Beckinsale in it. It looked good. I have been watching the final episodes of “Battlestar Galactica”. The show is great, the best thing on television. I’ll be sad when it’s over. I did start watching Joss Whedon’s (the creator of “Firefly”) new series “Dollhouse”. That was pretty good and I like “Fringe” a lot too. You knew that Adison broke her driver’s side window on Christmas day. The latest mishap happened a couple of weeks ago. She was the designated driver Friday night and she and her friends were on their way home when they decided to stop for sandwiches. There were a couple of drunks in the road. Adison stopped her car because the drunks wouldn’t get out of the road and then one of them punched her windshield and broke it. She called 911 and I think they may have arrested the guy the next day. She’s not going to have much glass left in the car at this rate. Last week the kitchen cabinets came in. I needed help getting them off the loading dock so I asked Sean. We went to breakfast Saturday morning at Pardzee’s and then went to Case Supply to get the cabinets. I told Sean about your Grandpa breaking his ankle and a few days later Sean showed up at your Grandparent’s house with a chocolate pie he had made. Your Mom and I worked together Saturday and Sunday to get the cabinets installed. I had to run duct work under the one cabinet which meant cutting out the front and back of the cabinet. I’ve got a little bit left to do today and then all the kitchen cabinets are in. I will order the counter tops tomorrow and in a couple of weeks the kitchen will be done. It’s still winter here. There is some snow on the ground but there are also large spots in the sun where you can see grass. Spring is close. I’m sure we’ll get one or more nasty storms yet but it is still safe to say winter is almost over. I bet it’s nice where you are and I’m looking forward to standing in the sunshine in San Antonio. Love, Dad.

2009/02/08 20:00 I made only two entries here for the whole month of January. That fact in and of itself I find depressing. A lot of stuff has happened the last few weeks and I still probably haven’t processed it all. My youngest son is now serving his country. My oldest son is serving time. My daughter is serving lunch at her college cafeteria. Wasn’t that a Bob Dylan song? Everybody has to serve somebody? On the same day that Michael left for boot camp, Robert got kicked out of rehab. Successfully completing rehab was a condition of his probation and so he has gone to jail.

2009/01/24 09:00 Last night was a night out with my bowling team. We went to Quaker Steak and Lube. My first time there and I had a lot of fun.

Bowling team from left, Katie, Scott, Karen (in Scott sandwich), Scott, Jen, and Theresa.

Christmas at Denny's, from left, My Mom, my Dad, Michael, Adison, the wife Karen, Ariel, Tristan, and Robert.

2009/01/10 22:00 Happy New Years to all! Can’t believe this is my first entry for 2009. Life has been getting in the way of me updating my website. Winter is in full force and I am in the grips of my typical seasonal melancholy. Living in a place of sometime ice and snow I often dream of warmer climes. Last night after work I went to the Blue Tusk and crashed the Milkweeds meeting. Nice group of people and I had a good time. I couldn’t stay as long as I would have liked as I had a previously arranged dinner engagement. Friday night, that same night, was the annual Redmond/ Tennant Christmas dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse. All in all it was one of the best Friday nights in awhile.

Annual Spaghetti Warehouse photo.

2008/12/26 09:00 “What kind of pathetic losers have Christmas dinner at Denny’s,” that’s what my wife asked me as we sat in the parking lot of Denny’s on Christmas day. “I don’t know,” I said, “but we’ll find out in a few minutes.” How is it that we ended up having Christmas dinner at Denny’s? Well here’s the story. I was planning on cooking Christmas dinner as usual, as I have so many years in the past. I had purchased all the food and was getting up Christmas morning to start cooking when the phone rang. It was my daughter Adison who was on her way home for Christmas from college. She had been in an auto accident. Her car had slid off the road, off the interstate, and hit a sign. The police were on the scene and had called a tow truck. I drove up to get her. The car had been towed to a garage in Fulton. Adison decided to get the car and drive it home. The car was driveable, it just didn’t have a drivers side window. We sat and waited to meet the tow truck driver at the McDonalds in Fulton. McDonalds was closed on Christmas day but it was funny how many people stopped thinking the restaurant was open because we were parked there. Adison and I got the car and I followed her home. We had a nice Christmas but it now seemed too late to start cooking Christmas dinner. We decided to go out for dinner but we couldn’t find anything open except for Denny’s. Denny’s was busier than they were prepared for but even as chaotic and as slow as the service was I still found the meal and the time spent there very relaxing and satisfying. Adison drove her car, without the window, back to college that night. That night I slept on the floor in Adison’s room. Karen still maintains that I snore at night, although I have never heard any proof or seen any evidence. There was a futon mattress on the floor and it felt very Bohemian sleeping there at ground level. Missy has gotten too old to be able to get up into a bed and so the dog loves the futon on the floor. The cat joined us and the three of us lay together in the darkness. I could hear the heavy breathing of the dog and the gentle purring of the cat and I imagined us a pack sleeping in a cave being soothed to sleep by the communal sounds of our breathing, the sounds of our own existence, feeling safe in numbers. I drifted off to sleep at peace in a way that I haven’t felt in a long while.

2008/12/17 09:00 Sometimes you need to take a long hard look at things and make appropriate adjustments. Sometimes it is necessary to change course. There is no doubt that change is scary. The unknown lies ahead. Better the misery we know than something worse hiding in the dark. Still, there are times we are compelled to take a chance and to attempt change. Success or failure lies ahead. Whichever awaits us, if we were the instrument of change, the one to have chosen the direction, isn’t that better than being the victim of fortune, good or bad? Isn’t it better to steer than to just be swept along by the tide? So it seems to me today. There is about a week until Christmas. I just can’t get into the holiday spirit. I try.

2008/12/12 09:00 The progression of the seasons continues without fail or pause. Winter is here. The snowplows were out last night and again this morning. Last night Karen and I went to the Landmark Theater to hear David Sedaris. He spoke for about an hour and a half. He was very entertaining. We then waited in line for about two hours for Karen to get a book signed. I snuck out of line for awhile and went around the corner to Clark’s Ale House for a pint and a roast beef sandwich. Tomorrow night Karen, Kathy, and I are going to see the “Santaland Diaries” at Syracuse Stage. The story that the play is based on was written by David Sedaris. It is purely coincidental that Sedaris was in town at the same time that the play is being staged. We actually have four tickets for the play and so we have to find someone else interested in going. We’ll probably just drag Michael along. TGIF by the way. I am so glad that it is Friday. I need some time off. I feel that I am frazzled to the nth degree.

2008/11/30 08:00 Adison and I went to Carousel Mall yesterday. I was amazed at how busy it was. Adison had gone on Friday and she said it was much busier on Friday. We went to Dunkin Donuts in the mall and had coffee and breakfast. We sat outside Dunkin Donuts and talked for awhile. I miss Adison and it was really nice to be with her. I didn’t even mind that my croissant was burned and that I dropped my breakfast on the floor. After we ate we went to American Eagle so Adison could do an exchange. We still had our coffees. We couldn’t drink our coffees with our breakfast because they serve coffee at this Dunkin Donuts at a ridiculous temperature. The coffee is so hot it is a hazard that warrants warnings and maybe some of that crime scene tape to establish a safe perimeter. The coffee could be used as a weapon. While Adison went in to the fitting room I sat outside and waited. They have these big comfy leather covered chairs and sofas. I settled in with my coffee and waited. They were blasting this very upbeat music on the store’s sound system and there were flat screen TVs that had images and video in sync with the music. There were young attractive models dressed in American Eagle clothes. They were just having the best times. They were a diverse lot, different ethnicities, but they somehow all seemed the same. And there were little platitudes that appeared on the screen, “Make your dreams come true”, “Have a positive attitude”, and the like. Suddenly I felt very sad. I just felt an overwhelming desire to be doing something else. As hard as I tried to pinpoint what my feelings were I just couldn’t. I knew that I wanted to be doing something else but I just didn’t know what. Last night I went to see “Godspell” at Syracuse Stage. I went with Karen and Kathy. Karen and I picked up Kathy and we had dinner at Nothing But Noodles and then we went to the show. I enjoy going to the theater. We dropped Kathy at home after and then Karen and I went to pick up Robert at work. We came home and watched an episode of “Deadwood” on DVD. It was a pretty lazy day. We went to bed about midnight or maybe a little later. I didn’t set my alarm and I woke up early this morning feeling rested and eager to get up and get on with the day. I haven’t felt this good in the morning in a long time.

2008/11/29 09:00 Thanksgiving was nice this year. My Mom and Dad came for dinner. There were six of us for Thanksgiving dinner; Karen, Adison, Michael, my parents, and me. Robert, Ariel, and Tristan went to Fabius to Ariel’s house. I was a little disappointed with the turkey. I cooked it outside on my new bar-be-que grill and it didn’t come out quite as good as I was hoping for. Everything else was great. Last night we went to a surprise birthday party for my goddaughter Megan at Delmonico’s restaurant. The subterfuge required to get Megan to Delmonico’s unawares weighed heavily on Karen. She would not survive long in the world of espionage and she definitely has no future as a grifter. It is snowing this morning. It is safe to say that winter has arrived. Meteorological winter begins December first which is Monday.

2008/11/27 10:00 There are very few problems in life that can not be solved with the application of large amounts of cash or vast amounts of high explosives. Unfortunately, I don’t have access to large amounts of cash and in most locales the use of vast amounts of high explosives is frowned upon if not outright legislated against. To be sure, you can solve problems without cash or explosives. The results are not as dramatic or efficient but can be satisfying in their own way. The monetary constraints we live with, as well as the fact that solutions involving blowing shit up are really just for daydreams, is probably why we have antidepressants and therapy. Early man was concerned with killing the woolly mammoth, so the family could eat, and about not getting eaten by the saber tooth tiger. As civilization advanced our worries became less and less about physical survival and more and more about stuff that seems important but that really, when you get right down to it, isn’t as important as that saber tooth tiger lurking in the darkness outside the light of the campfire. Today is Thanksgiving Day. You should reflect on what you have to be thankful for. And don’t forget the big stuff. If it snows you have warm clothes and a house with heat. You put food on the table and, for the most part, it doesn’t involve risking your life. You spar with people during the day but they don’t have pointed sticks. They aren’t trying to kill you, just to make you unhappy. You make a pot of coffee in the morning. And you bought a flavored creamer for that coffee the night before. It smells and it tastes like gingerbread and it makes you happy for a minute or two. I think you need to be thankful for everything that comes between survival and that quirky little thing that makes you smile for just a second.

Karen hard at work babysitting Tristan.

2008/11/17 22:00 I stayed late at work tonight. I left about 8:00 PM. It was dark, cold, and there were great big fluffy snowflakes in the air. It was very quiet and the snowflakes were pretty under the streetlights. The first snows of the season are always pretty. It didn’t snow yesterday and I worked all day and into the night getting the soffit installed on Karen’s shed. It was cold work in the afternoon and then surprisingly it seemed to warm up after the sun went down. I worked in the dark until about 9:00 PM. I was afraid this was going to be the last day I could work on the shed this year and I wanted it sealed up. I had brought out a lamp and just kept working. I really pushed myself and I paid for it today. I’m not used to physical labor and so I am a little bit sore. I felt tired all day but it was a good tired because I felt like I had accomplished something. I was sorry not to have gone to Philly. I had been really looking forward to the trip. At least by staying home I got done what needed to get done. I have to go pick Robert up from work now.

2008/11/16 10:30 e-mail to Caity I should have let you know sooner that I wasn’t going to make it this weekend. I hope I didn’t cause any inconvenience. I really wanted to be there and I was looking forward to it all week but I was just going to feel too guilty if I went. I chased 3 squirrels out of Karen’s shed on Friday. They are trashing the place. I need to get the shed sealed up before it becomes the winter retreat for our local squirrel population. Of course, it rained non-stop all day Saturday so I didn’t work on the shed anyways but hopefully it looks like I can work on it today. If I don’t at least accomplish getting the shed sealed up then I am really going to be upset that I stayed home for nothing. Maybe something else will come up and I’ll have another reason to head south to Pennsylvania. Say “Hi” to Dave and Sage for me. Scott.

2008/11/14 19:00 I survived another work week. I should be happier than this. It is Friday. It was a short week at work as I had Veteran’s Day off. I have a full week next week and then it is Thanksgiving week. On Tuesday Kathy and I went to hear Carl Hiaasen at the Rosamund Gifford Lecture series at the Civic Center. He was great. I am a big fan. After a lecture like that I really wish I could spend my time writing. It’s not that I want any great success. My needs are modest. I just like to write. I don’t care if anyone reads it or not. Not a great business model. I spend all day manipulating EXCEL spreadsheets. I am very good at it but it’s not what I ultimately want to do. I really want to do creative things. I want to write, paint, try my hand at carving, and maybe do some ceramic work. I just need to be able to pay the bills. Today might have been one of the last nice days of autumn. It was truly a pleasant day. I walked to the bank at lunch and that was the extent of my enjoyment of the fine weather. When I got out of work it was already dark. I really wanted to go to Philadelphia this weekend. I haven’t totally given up on going but at this point it seems less and less likely. I’ve got so much to do before winter and as much as I probably need to get away and relax I probably won’t. I talked to Adison last night and told her I was thinking of going to Philly on Saturday and she said, “That’s pretty extreme. Maybe you need something extreme.”

2008/11/10 22:00 “You are driving me insane because you are just weird as hell.” That’s what my wife just said to me. I started to protest and she said, “...don’t even complain about that, you know you thrive on being weird.” Wow. Is that true? Yeah, it probably is. I think I was supposed to do something with my life. I think I was supposed to have some purpose. There was to be some intent. And yet somehow I have just lost any and all sense of direction. When I finally get started and I am headed in the right direction will it be too late? Most likely. There was a cold wind blowing today and snow is close. Could be snow as early as tomorrow but surely before the weekend if the weatherman knows what he is talking about. I never feel like I have squirreled away enough nuts to make it through the winter. Winter always seems to come too soon and spring never seems to come on time. I have the day off from work tomorrow. I have lots to do and not enough time. And then I waste time.

​

“Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it’s sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again

The sun is the same in the relative way, but you’re older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time

Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way

The time is gone the song is over, thought I’d something more to say” (Pink Floyd)

2008/11/09 09:15 Tristan loves these little spots on “Sesame Street” with Marco. He’s a little boy who, as far as I can tell, never says anything. His mother puts him to bed. I sit on the couch with Tristan and I rewind the TIVO over and over again and we watch the same 3 minute clip over and over. If I don’t rewind fast enough Tristan says, “Marco where are you?” Karen and I are going to Freedom of Espresso for coffee.

Tristan in the leaves.

2008/11/08 16:00 I got to hang out with Tristan today. Actually, I hang out with him all the time but seldom just the two of us alone. I think today was the first time he was comfortable enough to spend this much time with me, just the two of us. We watched the mail truck come and the mailman gave the mail to Tristan instead of putting it in the mailbox. It was very exciting. Then we went in the backyard to rake some leaves. Tristan couldn’t quite get the hang of it. He wanted to push the rake instead of pulling it. Missy and Elsie came outside with us. Elsie climbed up on the playset and it seemed like she was having a hard time figuring out how to get back down. Missy just laid in the wet grass and Tristan tripped over her. All in all it was really a very nice time indeed. I will put the pictures of our leaf raking adventure on my MySpace page and on my Kodak gallery.

Elsie sleeping in the drawer.

2008/11/08 10:00 Frozen fingers can be very painful. It’s really cold outside and you have to scrape and chip ice off of your windshield and you forgot your gloves or mittens. You have to keep stopping to put your hands in your pockets or to blow your warm breath on them because it is just getting so painful. Frozen ears can be bad. You have to walk somewhere and it’s really cold and you don’t have a hat. You know that if you could look at your ears they would be as red as beets. Not comfortable. Frozen toes can be a problem. You are waiting for a bus or something and it’s really cold and your toes are screaming. You try stamping your feet and shuffling around in a circle but you have got serious popsicle toes. The absolute worst though is frozen assets. Let my bank accounts be free!! Elsie didn’t sleep with us last night. I went out this morning for coffee and it had been raining all night. It is a cold and dreary morning and everything is wet. When I opened the door the cat came running in and she was screaming. Someone left her out all night. The poor thing (stupid cat). When the cat wants to go out she sits in front of the door looking at it and waiting for it to open. It’s like she doesn’t get the idea that someone has to open it. Although, when I come home from work a lot of the time she will come running from the neighbor’s house to get let in. I think she recognizes the van and knows I’m going to open the door. She knows if the bathroom door isn’t latched she can put her paw under the door and pull it open. But, she sits in front of the closed front door looking like an idiot just waiting for it to ‘magically’ open. I’ve started writing again after a long break. Perhaps my muse has returned. I don’t know what puts me into the funks I get into sometimes or what gets me out. I am also starting to read again. I am starting to feel pretty good about things and about life in general. It is Saturday morning and Karen and I are going to take the trash and recyclables to Jamesville and then take the yard waste to the mulch pile. She’s still sleeping so I am going to have to wake her up soon.

2008/11/07 20:00 Today didn’t totally suck. It is Friday. I am off for the weekend. The cat, Elsie, sleeps at the bottom of the bed. This morning when I woke up she wasn’t there. I got up wondering where she’d gone to. The previous night Karen had been putting some clothes away and she left a drawer open. The Elsie cat was snuggled into the drawer. She’s a funny cat.

Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox.

2008/11/01 09:00 Our friend Ron has a Halloween party when Halloween falls on a Friday or Saturday night. The last party was 5 years ago. Then, my wife was the victim. The prom queen scream queen victim of the ax murderer. I was the ax murderer. This year my wife dressed me up like Paul Bunyan. It seems all of my wife’s ideas for me in costume involve me with an ax. My Purple Wahine was Babe the blue ox.

2008/10/20 18:00 I woke up this past Saturday morning in Media Pennsylvania. We went to see Dave, Caity, and Sage for Sage’s birthday. Karen, Adison, Michael, and I left Syracuse on Friday around 6:30 PM. It was a quick drive down and we got there about midnight. Saturday morning we went looking for coffee and went to Manhattan Bagel. The coffee was good and the bagel was good but the homeless guy playing with himself out front I could have done without. We went to the Friend’s school where Sage is a student and we watched his swim lesson. When I was wandering around the gym I saw some stuff in the trophy case with Hakim Warrick’s name on it. He went to high school there and played high school hoops there before going to Syracuse University and playing on the National championship team. Saturday night we went to the Iron Hill Brewpub for dinner. Last time we were at the Iron Hill Brewpub I was in my self imposed no beer period. This time I got to enjoy the beer. I ordered the Octoberfest special which was a multi-course meal with a different brew paired with each course. I wanted to get a T-shirt at the Iron Hill Brewpub but they didn’t have my size. I really wanted to stop in the Poconos on the way home and go to the Barley Creek Brewing Company. We had to stay later at Dave and Caity’s house than I wanted to because of the Giants game. We couldn’t be traveling when the Giants were playing. We left late so there was no stopping at Barley Creek Brewing Company for me this trip. In the last few weeks I went to see “Spamalot”. Karen, Michael, and I went to the Famous Artists presentation at the Civic Center in Syracuse. I really enjoyed the show. Karen and I had seen “Spamalot” on Broadway but we both agreed we liked this production better. Also, recently, I went to the Rosamund Gifford lecture series to hear David Remnick. He is the author of “Lenin’s Tomb” among other books and the editor of the “New Yorker”. My friend Kathy had an extra ticket and she asked me to go with her. It was a good lecture. I had heard David Remnick being interviewed on NPR on more than one occasion. The first time I heard him was when he was promoting his book “Lenin’s Tomb”, and then most recently when he was in hot water over the Obama terrorist fist bump cover of the “New Yorker”. The next lecture in the series is Carl Hiaasen. That should be a good one also. Last year was the first year I ever got a flu shot. My cardiologist pretty much insisted that I get a flu shot. I had no reactions and it never bothered me once. This year again it was strongly suggested that I get a flu shot. The nurse asked me which arm I wanted it in. She said that even if it didn’t bother me the first year it still might bother me this year. I didn’t fully realize at the time but it was one of those choose wisely questions. I thought since I’m left handed that I would get the shot in my right arm. I write left handed. The only problem with that logic is that I almost never write anything. I type and I use the mouse. I use the mouse with my right hand. So, when I started getting muscle pain from the shot it was aggravated by my mouse use. I basically spend all day manipulating spreadsheets and most of the work is mouse work. I didn’t choose wisely. Next year I get the flu shot in the left arm. I haven’t done anything on my website in a very long time. The main reason is that I had a serious computer crash. My desktop is not working right now. It won’t boot up. This has caused me untold anxiety. I have a lot of things on the desktop that I can’t access. I really hope that I can get the computer repaired and regain access to the stuff that I stupidly didn’t have backed up. I am writing this on a laptop and I am just not that comfortable on the laptop. I don’t like the keyboard and I don’t like not having a mouse. The touch screen replacement for the mouse just doesn’t cut it. If I’m going to use a laptop I need to at least get a mouse and maybe a better keyboard. The anxiety stemming from my computer problems may be aggravated by the fact that I’m off my meds. I am not taking my antidepressant and haven’t been. I let the prescription lapse and then once I did get it refilled I just didn’t start taking it again. When I first started taking the antidepressant I could feel the difference. It really knocked out the terrible lows that I would get from time to time. But, once I was on it for awhile it didn’t seem to be doing anything. When the prescription lapsed and I was off it I didn’t notice anything different. Karen says she notices a difference and wants me to start taking it again. Maybe. I started getting some TV series DVDs on Netflix. I got the first disc of season 1 for each of Rome, Deadwood, and Californication. I was going to watch each and then decide which series to watch from start to finish. I guess I’m going to go with Deadwood first. We went to Trader Joe’s before we left Pennsylvania. I love Trader Joe’s. I wish we had one near us. I got some pistachio cookies and a couple of Trader Joe’s shopping bags. The shopping bags are a great idea as long as you remember to take them into the store with you. The seasons are changing. Summer has faded and autumn is here. Time passes. We are all just travelers of both time and space. Michael has joined the Air Force. He was on the delayed entry program and he got his report date. He starts basic training on January 20th. I got a fountain for the Tiki room. There was an outdoor resin fountain at Lowes that I thought would be great in the Tiki room. I’m going to make a little grotto. The fountain was $199.00. I didn’t get it then. After summer was over the fountain went on clearance for $99.00. Still no sale. The Lowes is on my way home from work. About every other day I would stop at the store and visit my fountain. I was counting the fountains next to mine. Slowly the inventory was depleted. And then, one day, when my fountain only had two companions left I stopped for my visit and my fountain was marked down to $49.00. Ka-ching. The fountain came home with me that very night.

Adison, Sage, and Michael (top photo) and Dave and Caity (lower photo) at the Iron Hill Brewpub.

2008/09/15 23:30 The storm that came through here yesterday was the remnants of Ike, the hurricane that hit Galveston, Texas. The winds were gusting to 50 miles per hour and we had about 140,000 customers without power in central New York. We didn't lose power at all yesterday at our house but we lost power tonight for a couple of hours. At work today I was on the elevator this morning with some guys I've never seen before. The one guy says to his friend, "I almost didn't come in today. I left the wife at home, she's very unhappy and pissed that I left her home with no power." His friend said, "Same thing at my house. The wife's unhappy and pissed at me. We have power though."

2008/09/15 09:00 A pretty good storm roared through here last night. I was awakened at two in the morning from a sound sleep by the storm. Something hit something and it sounded like it was coming right through the house. The storm was all wind. No rain. No thunder. No lightning. Just wind. I guess if I knew it was coming I would have taken precautions. As it is I think the only thing I lost was my little tent awning that I got for Michael's graduation party. I've been enjoying that. It was nice to sit under and it didn't kill the grass. It was easy to mow around. Now, it's most likely gone. I doubt that it is going to be fixable. That's one disadvantage of TIVO. Probably a couple of days from now we'll be watching something on TIVO and we'll get a warning about heavy winds coming our way.

2008/09/14 12:00 There is a disturbing trend emerging here. This past week it was absolutely gorgeous outside. Tuesday and Wednesday were so nice in fact that it was almost physically painful to have to work inside. Then, come the weekend, it is cool, rainy, and damp. Same thing happened last week. I feel there is some kind of celestial conspiracy at work here to make things unpleasant for me. Of course, then I watch the news reports and see the hurricane damage in the Gulf coast and I remember just how truly insignificant I am. Michael and I went to the gun show at the NY State fairgrounds yesterday. That was fun. Neither of us bought anything. Karen had to work this weekend. Yesterday I did the trash run by myself. I didn't go for coffee this morning because she's at work. We will probably go when she gets home. Last night I watched the first episode of "Deadwood" on DVD. I wanted to watch Saturday Night Live to see Tina Fey as Sarah Palin but I put the TV on the wrong station and I missed the opening sketch, which was the only thing I really wanted to see.

2008/09/08 09:00 message to Erin on MySpace I'm thinking the album will be done on Wednesday. There is a great picture of Michael in a shark jaw. He actually suggested I take the picture. He usually doesn't like to get his picture taken. It was at the aquarium. Actually, first time past the shark jaw I asked him to pose and he wouldn't. There was a cute little girl there, maybe six or seven years old. So, I took her picture in the shark jaw. Michael said, "that's just weird." Well, he wouldn't pose so I used someone else's child as a substitute. Then on the way out he suggested I take the picture of him in the shark jaw. Did he ever tell you the Dexter story? Did you ever watch Dexter on the Cartoon Network? A couple of years ago Michael and I went to the NY State Fair and Dexter was there. I wanted my picture taken with Dexter and Dee Dee and Michael refused to take it. He said I was too old to get my picture taken with Dexter. I was embarrassing him. Well, he will always owe me that picture. Glad to hear that you are enjoying yourself. College can be a great experience. Michael, Karen, and I went to visit Adison at SUNY Oswego over Labor Day. I'll send you those pictures too. Have fun, Scott.

While shopping at WalMart I discovered this truly revolutionary product. This thing is so cool. The DynoBytes device. You make a normal peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then you take the ordinary PB&J sandwich and apply the DynoBytes contraption and in a matter of seconds in cuts off the crusts and makes two sandwiches that look like little dinosaurs. I don't know why I haven't seen an infomercial for this. I only bought one of these and already I'm wishing that I'd bought a couple.

2008/09/07 22:00 Another weekend comes to an end. This one was pretty good. I got a lot of work done on my Tiki mug shelf. I love making things. The shelf is not going to be a great piece of furniture as far as craftsmanship goes. But, I think it is going to be a great piece of furniture as an artistic statement. Karen and I took Robert to work today and then we stopped at Starbucks off Carrier circle for coffee. I was at Freedom of Espresso yesterday and I was looking for something different today. Both Karen and I agreed that the coffee is better at Freedom of Espresso. We were sitting enjoying our coffee and reading the paper. A young girl sat down across from me and smiled at me. I thought to myself that I know this girl but I can't figure out where I know her from. This happens to me from time to time. I see someone that I recognise and then I can't figure out just where it is that I know them from. I always remember but sometimes it takes awhile. Once we were having coffee at Barnes and Noble and there was a young woman came in with a book club and I was sure I knew her or had seen her before but I couldn't place her. The next day it just dawned on me and I remembered that she was a cashier at Wegmans and she cashs me out all the time. So, I'm sitting at Starbucks trying to figure out where I had seen the young girl sitting across from me. She got up and put her apron back on and went back behind the counter. Her break was over and she had to go back to work. Oh yes, that's where I knew her from; she served me coffee ten minutes ago. That must be what they call a 'senior moment'. I was able to work all afternoon on the cabinet without it raining on me. I worked all day yesterday and it didn't rain on me either. Last night I bar-be-que'd some steaks and it rained on me. Not hard. It was actually a nice pleasant rain. I still have the tent gazebo set up from Michael's graduation party and Missy and I sat there last night and enjoyed the warm summer rain from under the tent. Yes, most things considered it was a pretty nice weekend.

Matching nightstand.

Adison with her new desk. Scott did such a good job on the desk and matching little table that he told me Adison didn't believe he had made them. She accused him of buying them at a store and then trying to take credit for making them.

2008/09/01 22:45 Labor Day is coming to a close and so too is the summer of 2008. It was a good summer but, as usual, it was way too short. And the older I get the shorter the summers get. Figure that one out. I made it to the NY State Fair three times this year. I went once with Michael. I went once with Karen. And then, on Sunday, Karen and I took Robert, Ariel, and Tristan. Fun times all. Michael and I were checking out the butter sculpture. This year was the 'cow jumping over the moon' and I thought it was pretty good. I especially liked the dish and the spoon. The dish had little garters. It was cute. There were two women behind us, probably sisters, and they were getting into a pretty heated discussion about whether the butter sculpture this year was better than the butter sculpture last year. Pretty funny. They probably argue about everything. It was a lot of fun taking Tristan to the fair. We rode the shuttle bus to the entrance. Once we were off the bus he didn't want to ride in the stroller. He arched his back and made himself stiff as a board so that he wouldn't fit in the stroller. You won't fit in the stroller if you don't bend at the waist. It's pretty funny when it's the grandson instead of your own child. Once Tristan was in the stroller and we made it through the front gate he immediately fell asleep. It is amazing to me how little kids can sleep through just about anything. I find it fascinating, and always have, that a child can fall asleep one place and then wake up someplace else and not be all freaked out. Imagine today if you went to sleep in your own bed and then woke up on a train to Russia. You'd definitely be all freaked out. Kids are just like, "what's up? Where are we going and do we get any juice boxes?" While Tristan was napping we got Ariel some fried dough and then Robert and Ariel went on a ride. When Tristan woke up we went to the petting zoo. I think Tristan liked all the animals except the giraffe. The giraffe just seems to come out of nowhere with that big long neck and they have really long tongues that are great at grabbing things ( in the wild they grab leaves off the trees - at the petting zoo they just grab carrots from your hand ). After the petting zoo we got something to eat. I had a steak sandwich, Robert had wings, and Karen had an ear of corn. Tristan had some fries with ketchup, or maybe ketchup with fries, and he had some of Karen's corn. I love the signs for the "freak shows". They aren't at all like they were during the heydays of Barnum and Bailey and the like. For one thing, medical science has improved, thus cutting down on the human oddities. Second, cultural mores have changed. The tattooed and pierced lady is now out in the crowd ( she took the day off from Hot Topic in the mall ). The worlds smallest horse was at the fair. The worlds smallest horse actually had three spots at the fair. That little horse has got to be pretty quick or else we need a measurement to decide once and for all just which little horse is actually the worlds smallest. One of my favorite things at the fair is just watching all the people. Now, I'm the first to admit that I am not a fashion plate, but some of the outfits people wear!! One young girl walked by, she was cute, had a nice figure, and was dressed very nice in a purple strapless dress. I thought she looked a little too dressed up for the fair and I thought the fabric looked too heavy for a summer day at the fair. As she got closer you could see the sweat stains under her arms. That's got to be a fashion faux pas. There was country music at the fair, Taylor Swift was one of the acts, and so there were lots of girls in cowboy boots. One poor girl went by in her Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots and she just did not have the figure to pull it off. She should have just worn a big neon sign "My Ass is Enormous". Friends shouldn't let friends out of the house dressed like that. After we ate we went to the poultry building and saw the ducks, chickens, and the bunnies. I think Tristan really liked those. I fell for one little bunny. He was so cute, black and white, and he really wanted to be petted. He didn't win any ribbons at the fair and he had been totally dissed by the judges "will not pose". I had to get out of there quick before I ended up coming home with another pet. All in all this was a great year for the Great NY State Fair. We just got back from visiting Adison at her new apartment in Oswego. It was a fun trip. Karen, Michael, and I made the trip to the north country of Oswego. We took her a chair for her desk, some of her posters, and a mirror for her door. Her new desk was made for her by my friend Scott. It is really sweet; a nice job. He made her a matching little table for next to her futon. We went out to dinner. We went to Canales but it was closed what with it being Labor Day and all. We went to Bridie Manor but it didn't open until 5:00 PM ( what with it being Labor Day and all ). We ended up at Ruby Tuesdays. I had the steak and shrimp special. It was very good, a steak with baked potato and shrimp with rice. It was like two dinners squished onto one plate. Karen said, "aren't you supposed to be on a diet?" Well, yes I am, but I suspended my diet for the NY State Fair. Karen then pointed out that we weren't at the fair and I of course had to remind her that technically the fair was still in progress ( they don't suspend the fair just because I am unable to attend ). We took Adison shopping at WalMart and then we came home.

2008/09/06 07:00 I was awakened this morning at around three or four o'clock in the morning. Domestic squabble. My domicile but not my immediate domestic unit. I couldn't go back to sleep so I just opted to stay up. I went to Wegmans around six AM. Have you ever noticed that six in the morning feels different than six in the afternoon. And six in the morning feels different if you are there because you just woke up or there because you haven't been to bed yet. It was dark when I left the house and then twilight came and lightened the morning. At Wegmans I bought a new notebook. I love to write in a new notebook. I wasn't halfway through my last notebook but the more writing I do in my notebook the more dissatisfied I become with it. My notebooks end up being all about rough drafts and experiments. Ideas that didn't go where I thought they might have or plans that never came to fruition. So, once the baggage in the notebook becomes too much it is time for a new notebook. Today they were on sale for seventy seven cents. For seventy seven cents I get a clean slate. A fresh start. A new beginning. That's a great bargain. I left Wegmans and drove to Freedom of Espresso for coffee. On the short drive it started to rain. Not a heavy rain but just enough to require your wipers on. And not full on but set to intermittent. I had big plans today to work on my cabinet and that requires me to set up in the driveway. I hope it clears enough to allow me to bring out my tools. I had never been to Freedom of Espresso so early in the morning. I wasn't even sure they would be open. They were. There was only one customer there when I arrived. The girl working was either new or I'd just never run into her before. She was very pleasant. I had on my T-shirt from Barley Creek Brewing Company and she commented on it. It turns out she had been there a couple of weeks before. Karen, the kids, and I had stopped there for lunch once a long time ago while we were on our way back from a trip to Baltimore. The T-shirt is one of my favorites. It is for the Barley Creek Brewing Co. stout that they had named the 'Renovator'. The tagline for the beer is 'renovate your soul'. I love that. Renovate your soul. Not fix your body by changing your diet, or improve your mind by reading a book, but instead, renovate your soul. That's serious. Always reminds me of a line from a Great White song; 'scars on the soul never fade'. Serious stuff. I have been getting kind of melancholy the last couple of days. I'm not sure if the emotions are genuine or just because I'm off one of my meds. I let the prescription for my ant-depressant lapse. I've been off the SSRI for the better part of a week. It is continuing to rain. A drizzle really. Enough to be annoying. If this was a work day I wouldn't care. It has been absolutely gorgeous outside this past week and then chooses to rain on my day off. So be it.

2008/08/14 23:00 I have, once or twice, referred to my grandson, Tristan, as 'the little bastard'. I was just being accurate. I actually meant it very affectionately. According to the dictionary a bastard is an illegitimate child; born to unwed parents. The origin of the word is from the 11th century signifying the offspring of a polygynous marriage, sometimes to a woman of lower status, a pagan tradition not sanctioned by the church. It's a word not used much today and certainly not used correctly when it is. I remember the word from my youth and from the epic films, usually swashbucklers, starring the likes of Errol Flynn and Tyrone Power. They were always the bastard sons of wealthy noblemen. They turned to piracy or became brigands until their eventual redemption after winning their share of the family jewels and the affection of Olivia D'Haviland, Gene Tierney, or some other young starlet. Not many people get my sense of humor. Actually, probably no one gets my sense of humor. Karen told me that Ariel was thinking of changing her name. When Tristan was born he was given his father's surname. For many economic reasons it makes sense for Robert and Ariel not to rush into marriage. But if Ariel changed her last name to match Robert and Tristan and there were, please forbid, an accident, then they would all have the same last name in the resulting article in the newspaper. I thought that was very sweet. Robert has been the cause of much stress and anxiety in my life. When you become a parent you never know where it's going to take you. You don't know if the ride you signed up for is going to be smooth or the wooden roller coaster. I got the wooden roller coaster and there aren't any brakes. Last night we went out for my Dad's birthday (we went to the Olive Garden). Robert and Ariel surprised me with a cake that Ariel made to say thank you for everything I do for them. It was very nice and it meant a lot to me.

2008/08/18 23:00 Today is kind of an important day for me. No one recognized it as such. If I was still seeing my therapist I know exactly what she would say. How do you think that anyone would have known that today has any kind of significance to you if you didn't tell anyone? I almost died two years ago today. Two years ago today I had my heart attack. I didn't die. If I was supposed to have died on that day, I didn't. I have had two extra years. Today is like a second birthday for me. Today is a day to pause and reflect on those extra years. Today is a day to think about what I might do with the next extra year. My Mom and Dad came over for a bar-be-que tonight. I cooked some NY Strips and some boneless pork chops. We had baked potatoes and salad. Michael was there and his friend Erin was there. Robert, Ariel, and Tristan were there. My bride, Karen, was there. After we ate we went to the Red Apple for ice cream and we waited a very very long time for a very very slow girl behind the counter to get us some soft serve ice cream. I came home and watched "Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay". It was not as funny as the first one "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle".

2008/08/11 21:00 We got back from vacation late Saturday night, early Sunday morning. I forgot to take my medications. I remembered when I woke up Sunday morning. I thought if I took the meds Sunday morning then I wouldn't be able to take them at the normal time Sunday night. I decided to skip a day and then take the pills as usual Sunday night. That was a big mistake. I think skipping my meds raised my blood pressure too high. That gave me a massive headache and the massive headache made me vomit. In this case it was violent projectile vomit. Projectile vomit is never a good thing. But all things considered if faced with a choice of projectile vomit or explosive diarhea my recommendation would be to opt for the projectile vomit. I am going to be more careful with my meds.

A Flying Monkey defecated on my van. At first I thought it must have been a California Condor (Gymnogyps californianus) but I looked up the habitat for condors and their range is limited to the coast of California and the Grand Canyon. Even if I had really pissed off a Condor, and I'm sure I haven't, it would be a really extreme bombing run for the Condor to make it all the way to the East Coast. After I decided that it couldn’t have been a Condor I investigated more. If you look at the stain left by the mystery creature you can see that it’s pretty brown and chunky which led me to conclude it was probably a mammal. There are not very many trees near the beach where a mammal could perch in a tree waiting for my vehicle to pass underneath. So, logically, it had to be a flying mammal. There are not very many flying mammals. Voilla! The offender was a Flying Monkey (Mobat wingflyicus). And it had to have been a pretty good size one at that.

2008/08/07 20:00 Day six of vacation. I’m starting to get a little sad. Vacation is almost over. I did not get to do as much as I wanted to do. And now vacation time is running out. I realized this vacation that I really need to get in better shape. After I had the heart attack I got very inspired and I lost 35 pounds. I was exercising regularly and I felt great. Now, I've put the 35 pounds back on and I feel like crap. When my weight was down and I was exercising I actually was able to drop a few meds. Now, I'm back to all the meds I was on plus 2 new ones. I didn't spend as much time in the hot tub as I would have liked because I was afraid of stroking out or having another heart attack. As soon as I get home from vacation I start a new regimen. This vacation I have been missing being connected. I miss being able to get onto the internet anytime I want to. I found a good WiFi spot at the OBX Coffee Shop. They charge four dollars for two hours high speed access and it's a good strong signal. They have counters with power strips to plug in your laptop. Nice place. I'm not going to make it to Okracoke Island this year. That's disappointing.

The pictures ended up on the website anyways so he might as well have just cooperated. If Michael had posed with the stuffed animals then I would have only had to have put one picture on the website. The pictures would have come out better if he had cooperated.

2008/08/05 22:00 Day four of vacation. Yesterday Michael and I went to Mama Kwan’s Tiki Bar for lunch. I had their Jawaiian chicken breast. It’s a chicken breast with Jerk seasoning. It is served with a mango pineapple salsa and sides of jasmine rice and Asian slaw. I had a Jamaican Red Stripe beer for my beverage. Very delicious. After we got back from lunch Michael put the theme from Hawaii Five-O on my cell phone as my ring tone. I think that is so cool. Later that day when Karen and I were at a store shopping I kept wishing someone would call me so everyone could hear how cool I was. Michael wanted steak for dinner. We were going to get some T-bones to bar-be-que but there were cowboy sirloins on sale. We cooked the cowboy sirloins and had baked potatoes with sour cream and butter. It was a truly delicious and satisfying meal. I was pretty well stuffed and feeling that maybe I should have left something on my plate but that didn’t stop me from hitting the hot tub. What a great day. Very relaxing.

2008/08/07 09:20 Day six of vacation. Michael and I took Sage to play miniature golf yesterday. We went to Jurassic Putt. After golf we went to Dairy Queen and got something to drink. Michael won three stuffed animals in the ‘claw’ game. He wouldn’t let me take his picture with the Cookie Monster, Baby Shrek, and whatever the third stuffed animal was because he said if I took his picture with the stuffed animals then the picture would just end up on my website.

My friend Scott gave me a Homer Simpson bottle opener slash fridge magnet for my birthday and I brought it on vacation (the opener says one of three clever Homerisms every time you open a beer).

2008/08/03 08:45 This morning is day two of vacation. We made it to the beach house in Duck, North Carolina, around 8:00 PM Saturday night. We had clear weather for the whole trip down.

Last Tuesday night I went to the movies and saw “Step Brothers”. It was probably the funniest movie I have ever seen in my whole life. At one point I was laughing so hard that I was getting light headed and was actually afraid that I might pass out. That is not an exaggeration. I was actually laughing so hard I thought I might pass out. Comedy is a funny thing. The material has to be funny, of course, but you have to be in the right frame of mind as well. In this case I was definitely in just the right frame of mind and the material hit me just right and as a result I was seriously laughing my ass off. My doctor prescribed a new blood pressure medication for me and I haven’t gotten the prescription filled yet and so maybe the almost fainting part was as much to blame on my lack of meds as it was on the comedy genius of Will Farrell and John C. Reilly. It might be hard to know for sure.

On Wednesday after work I went to the Party in the Plaza. My friend from work, Joe McSweeney, was playing with his band Emerald City. I haven’t been to party in the plaza in a long time. It used to be the happening place. It was an after work party and it was all the young professionals that worked downtown. The party is in the plaza of the Federal building downtown. Well, when I got there this Wednesday I thought there had to be some kind of mistake. The crowd was sparse to begin with and I thought maybe I had wandered into the village idiot convention. The crowd reminded me of the “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” field trip. Outpatients from the loony bin. A few crackheads and the homeless filled out the cast of characters. There were cops everywhere. I think there were almost as many cops as there were spectators in the crowd. Obviously Party in the Plaza is no longer the happening place it used to be.

We left Syracuse Friday night. We actually left a little earlier than we planned on. Karen is usually pretty tough when it gets close to time to leave. She wasn’t as militant as usual. We started vacation on such a pleasant note that it didn’t seem like vacation (just a warning: if you don’t want to see Karen get all militant don’t get in between her and her beach time). We drove to Dave and Caity’s house in Pennsylvania and spent the night there. The next morning we drove the rest of the way to the Outer Banks.

It was clear sailing all the way down. Last night after we got here there was an incredible electrical storm over the ocean. Michael and I sat out on our deck and watched nature’s light show. It was very relaxing; a good start to the vacation.

The pork came out tender and juicy and absolutely delicious. I served the pork with a mango fruit salsa that I had made. To make the salsa I just chopped 3 garlic gloves and half of a Vidalia onion in the food processor. I chopped, with a knife, fresh Italian parsley and cilantro. I added the parsley and cilantro to the garlic and onions. Then I added diced tomatoes. For the fruit I added fresh mango, fresh pineapple, and canned Mandarin oranges. I thought it came out really good.

We went to the trash this morning. Missy goes with Karen and I on the trash run every week now. After the trash we went to Lee's Feed Store in the Valley and got some birdseed for the feeders and a big butcher bone for Missy. She is such a good dog.

I kept a nice hot fire going in the side firebox.

The pork cooked for about three and a half hours.

2008/07/26 17:00 It is Saturday afternoon. We had Michael's graduation party yesterday. It was a beautiful night for it. The original day planned, last Sunday, it rained all day. It then rained everyday since except for last night; Friday night. Today, it's raining again. It's a warm summer rain and not altogether unpleasant. In fact I stood under the tent gazebo we have set up and the sound of the rain on the tent is very soothing and relaxing. A lot of people couldn't make it to the party because they already had other plans. There are a lot of leftovers. I cooked two large pork tenderloins and we only ate about three-fourths of one. I cooked the pork on my new barbeque.

My new Kingsford barbeque is an offset smoker.

2008/07/23 23:00 e-mail to Darren I always wanted to go to Roswell. You'll have to show the kids my alien collection. I have a stuffed toy alien, a beanie baby alien, a big plastic drink cup alien, a wax candle alien, a resin karaoke alien, a small bendie alien, an alien fetus in green alien amniotic fluid that lights up like a lava lamp, a commemorative alien plate, and an Area 51 warning sign. They are all in my computer area that Karen calls "Scott World".

I also have my X-Files area. The new X-Files movie opens soon; "I want to believe".

Sounds like you had fun. I remember our trip to Carlsbad Caverns when we were kids. The thing I remembered the most was the owls. There were a couple of big fat lazy owls that nested right by the mouth of the cave. At night when all the bats came streaming out of the cave the owls would grab dinner and then settle back into their nests. They did a segment on the restaurant in Carlsbad Caverns on NPR awhile back. It seems that something like that would never happen now. The National Park service tries to leave everything as pristine as possible. Back in the 1950s they cut holes in the redwoods you could drive through and put a lunch counter in Carlsbad Cavern, etc. - same type of idea. They were going to take out the restaurant and return the site to as close to unspoiled as possible but got a surprising number of complaints. People remembered eating in the cave and thought it was cool and then wanted to do the same thing with their kids. I can't believe Penny was that close to an armed robbery and an armed felon. As scary and as upsetting as that has to have been you have to admit that it's pretty cool that your wife could ID the make of the gun. I remember years ago when my kids were little we were driving to Illinois. We were just outside Detroit, a tough section from the looks of it, and Karen had to have McDonalds. It was late, almost eleven. I parked the car and went in while Karen waited in the car with the kids. When I went into the store the manager locked the door behind me. She went in the back office. There was a woman in line in front of me and she asked the girl behind the counter to unlock the door to let her husband in. She did. The manager, who was a girl that looked to be all of 19 years old, came out of the office and saw that the door had been unlocked. She went crazy! She was screaming at the girl behind the counter and I mean she was screaming at her. After a couple of minutes she calmed down and apologised to the girl behind the counter. "I'm sorry," she said, "it's just that I got robbed again at closing last night." The girl behind the counter asked how the robbery went. The manager said, "It was okay. The robber was kind of nervous and when he was pointing the gun at me he was shaking. I didn't like that. It's better when they're not so nervous." I thought to myself this is really sad. This girl is only like 19 and she's been held at gunpoint so many times that she can actually critique the robbers. Thanks for the picture of Andrew at the Enchanted Tiki Room. I put the picture on my website. It's on the glossary page under "E" for Enchanted Tiki Room.

2008/07/21 22:45 It is so hot and muggy today. Everything is damp and moist. Moist and damp. I walked to the bank during lunch today and I came back all sweaty and clammy. I felt like I wanted to take a shower. Robert has been sick for a couple of days. He has been throwing up for days. Can't keep anything down. Karen took him to a clinic today and they said he should have gone to the emergency room yesterday. They gave him a prescription that's suposed to allow him to keep something in his stomach and I think an antibiotic. He really needs to get a job that has health insurance. I watched the first two episodes of "Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog" yesterday. You could watch them on the site drhorrible.com. I should have watched the third and final installment yesterday because now you can only see it on I-tunes. I don't have an I-pod. I enjoyed the first two installments. But then I'm a big Joss Whedon fan. I loved "Firefly'. That was a series that should not have been canceled. The actor that played the captain in "Firefly" played Captain Hammer in "Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog". We have rescheduled Michael's party for Friday after work. It will start around three in the afternoon until whenever. I love parties that are from a specified start time until whenever... It seems so exciting. "Hell, we don't know how long the damn thing is going to last." Plus with it starting late that means I can bring out the Tiki torches. I can fire up the Tiki fire-bowl. And, I can use up my fireworks. Hot damn! Talk about your TGIF. I mean this is TGIF baby.

2008/07/21 20:45posted on Syracuse.com Right about now "Burn Notice" is the best thing on TV. There is a serious lack of good scripted shows on the television. "Burn Notice" started as a summer replacement series last summer and is returning for season two. It is not really a secret why Michael Westen was 'burned'. He was 'burned' so he could be extorted into working jobs for this new handler. The secret is the identity of the handler. The woman fronting for the handler is played by Tricia Helfer. She played one of the Cylons on "Battlestar Galactica". ("Battlestar Galactica" has finished shooting the final season. The second half of season 4 airs in January. Another Cylon alumni Grace Park, who played Boomer, has landed on A&E's "The Cleaner". Nice to see the Cylons finding employment.) Bruce Campbell may play the comic relief but his character has some depth. He is retired special forces, an ex Navy SEAL, and we got to see just how tough his character is during last season's finale "Loose Ends".

2008/07/20 19:00 We decided to postpone Michael's graduation party because of the rain. It had been raining pretty heavy off and on. The forecast was for more thunderstorms all day. We decided to have the party on Wednesday or Thursday night. I had been up late Saturday night cooking well into Sunday morning. I made the meatballs and the rice and beans. I had started on the mango salsa that I was going to serve with the pork tenderloins. I slept a few hours. I got up early Sunday morning and had been working all morning when we decided to postpone the party. Later that afternoon Karen said I could take a nap and I was laying down second guessing whether or not it had been a good idea to postpone the party when it started raining again. It was another heavy rain and I fell asleep to the sound of the storm hitting the roof above me. With all the preparations for the graduation party I didn't get to go out to Freedom of Espresso for coffee. There wasn't enough time. When Karen and I go for coffee together on Sundays it is so peaceful and relaxing and it just really centers my world. Today I didn't get that. I just got Karen being all stressed about the party. We ordered helium balloons that may or may not make it until the party. We rented chairs that we will have to take back and then re-rent. I went to pick up the balloons after my nap and I stopped and got a coffee at McDonalds. It was an undrinkable. I ended up pouring it out. I really missed my coffee this morning. That truly terrible coffee was just like salt in an open wound. The one bright spot today was that Scott stopped by for an unexpected visit on his way back from NYC. In other news; I got a friend request on MySpace today from Little Georgie. I have fond memories of going to Styleen's Rhythm Palace in Armory Square to see Little Georgie and the Shufflin' Hungarians. Little Georgie is going to be playing at the Syracuse Inner Harbor on Thursday August 17th. I think I'll have to check that out.

2008/07/18 23:00 Last night I had the most intense dream, nightmare, I've ever experienced in my whole life. I fell asleep on the couch. I fell asleep sitting up. I don't remember my dreams very often. When I do remember my dreams they are usually very short and not very interesting. Last night my dream was very interesting. I almost would have thought that I was watching a TV show. Or more accurately that I was in a TV show. I fell asleep sitting up on the couch in front of the TV but the television wasn't on. Wherever my dream came from it wasn't from the television. In the dream I arrived at a very large skyscraper. I rode up to one of the top floors in a glass elevator. I was pretending to be someone important. I was pretending to be someone I wasn't. I didn't know why. When I got to the floor I wanted and the doors opened there was a woman waiting for me. She was beautiful and dressed all in white. But her beauty wasn't real. She was evil and I was there to kill her. I struggled with her and then threw her out the window. She fell a long long way to the pavement below. But she didn't die. Instead she got on the elevator and returned to the floor where I was. She was immortal like a vampire or some such creature. We fought and people from my past came to help me. They all ended up being injured or killed. I didn't want the help and I felt bad that these people that I had cared about at some time in my llife were being injured and killed trying to help me. No matter what we tried we couldn't kill the she-demon. Appearing in the dream now was the Grim Reaper; the Angel of Death. He wasn't a totally scary individual. He was dressed all in black. His robes seemed to be always flowing. The robes were flowing not because there was a breeze but because they almost seemed to be alive. He didn't have a scythe but he did have a staff. The staff was black and smooth and somehow you just knew that it wouldn't be a good thing to touch. He wanted the woman dead the same as me and so we were actually on the same side. The Reaper told me that the only way to stop her was to burn her. There was an incinerator in the skyscraper and for some reason there was a door to the incinerator in the hall like a giant laundry chute but with fire at the bottom instead of a hamper. I tricked the she-demon and was able to force her into the chute and she perished. This wasn't the end of the dream. There were security cameras showing me killing the woman and no one was going to believe she was a demon. I was going to be prosecuted for murder. But my Dad stepped in to take the blame for me. I couldn't let that happen and I was able to go back in time and not kill the demon. Somehow the she-demon knew I had killed her and then undid her death. The she-demon now could fly and she carried me in her arms into the night. I knew I was going to die but the flight was gorgeous. It was thrilling to fly through the night sky with the stars all around. She flew me to some kind of an oil refinery. She dropped me into an open oil tank. It was night and so it was dark to begin with but even darker in the oil tank. I knew that if I struggled I would drown in the thick black oil very quickly. I tried to relax and float on the surface of the oil. It was hard to relax because I was so scared that I was going to die a horrible death choking in the oil. Then the Reaper swooped in and removed me from the oil. The Reaper had an ability to turn back time that far surpassed my meager abilities. The Reaper took me to where a young girl had committed suicide by hanging herself. The Reaper turned back time and we intervened and stopped the suicide. The girl grew to be a woman and married and had children. But the man she married was supposed to have married someone else. The children that were to be born to the woman he was supposed to have married were never born. Those children had destinies to marry and have children and so those children were never born. The consequences of saving the girls life stretched out before us in a detail that I couldn't fathom. The Reaper was almost god-like in his ability to see the consequences of his actions past, present, and future. Actions and inactions translated into so many possibilities. I started to think that maybe the Grim Reaper, this Angel of Death, was in fact God himself. Then I woke up. I was sorry that I had woken up. I thought maybe I had been on the precipice of some great epiphany. I was about to see something mystical and true that would change humankind from hence forth. Or maybe it was just what I'd had to eat. Karen had cooked that night. She made sloppy-joes. I ate her sloppy-joes. I ate her sloppy-joes without commenting that the color looked a little off. After I ate her sloppy-joes Karen said one of the cans of Manwich looked a little old. So maybe my dream wasn't a glimpse into another world or into some divine truth but instead just an old can of Manwich?

We're getting ready for Michael's graduation party on Sunday. I've got the menu set and everything is looking good so far. The weather forecast is a little iffy. I hope it doesn't rain during the party.

2008/07/14 23:30 e-mail to Scott I can't believe I am just seeing this e-mail today!! I don't know how I missed it. Thanks so much for the birthday wishes. Too bad you missed the party. I was looking for you there. You are my first contributor to the mailbag section. Cheers from Khan Tiki Mon, aka Mr. Tennant, aka Scott - call me anything just don't call me late for dinner.

2008/07/15 23:30 I poured the last pad of concrete for my sidewalk tonight. I finished at about 10:45 PM. I wanted the sidewalk done before Michael's graduation party on Sunday. Once the concrete was poured Michael, Karen, and I went out to eat at Applebee's. We ended up closing the place. I have got an awful lot of work to do before the party Sunday. I don't know if I will be able to handle Karen's impending meltdown. The closer to the party it gets the closer to meltdown she gets. She's going to go all 3 mile island on me.

2008/07/14 23:40 My friend Scott sent me an e-mail the night before my birthday. It has been sitting in my inbox for a month and I didn't notice it until today. How weird is that? I check my e-mail most days at least twice a day and somehow I completely overlooked the e-mail. Well, Scott earns the distinction of being the first contributor to my mailbag section. How exciting.

Getting ready for Michael's graduation party on Sunday. Karen is already stressing out and it's only Monday.

2008/07/16 21:30 posted on Syracuse.com On Friday night I went to see "Hellboy II : The Golden Army". Guillermo del Toro is a genius director. I really enjoyed the first Hellboy and the sequel was even better. I believe that due to the critical success of "Pan's Labyrinth" del Toro was given almost free rein to bring his true vision to life here. The story is based on a comic book but the characters are very well developed. And considering the makeup, costumes, prosthetics, and effects that go into creating the characters it is no small feat to have as a final product characters that are so real and so interesting. Ron Perlman as Hellboy and the character Abe Sapien are commiserating about girlfriend problems and end up singing along to a Barry Manilow record. What a great scene! And, unlike so many summer action flicks, the violence is not mindless and has consequences. Hellboy is forced to dispatch a forest creature brought to life to battle him but there is a sense that the violence is a waste of a precious life. Not the usual action movie fodder. Selma Blair shines as Hellboy's love interest. In all the movie just left me wanting more. Here's hoping for Hellboy III.

2008/07/02 14:00 I survived Friday night. It was a rough night. It started out innocently enough. After work I stopped at Kitty Hoynes to see Michelle Carpenter. It was the end of her first week of work for National Grid. I had a beer there and then went to the Suds Factory for a retirement party. I had two beers at Suds and by then the party had pretty well thinned out. I was leaving for home but had to stop and use the rest room first. I came out of the bathroom and Mike and Zane were at the end of the bar. Here's where the evening took a detour. Mike's wife Kristin and Zane's fiance Rene were in the Poconos. Mike and Zane were out for a night on the town and I joined them. The bartender at Suds snapped a picture of the three of us on Mike's cell phone and he sent it to Karen. "Who's the old fart in the middle?", Karen texted back. From the Suds factory we went to the Blue Tusk. Mike was making jokes about texting Kristin that he was home watching a movie. From the Blue Tusk we went to Kitty Hoyne's (back where I started). By this time I will admit that I was drunk. I texted Karen that she needed to pick me up, I was in no shape to drive. I went to the bathroom and the urinal was wrapped in plastic like a mummy. It was either use the sink or wet my pants and so I used the sink. The guy in the stall came out and took particular offense to the improper use of the sink and for a minute or two I thought he was going to assault me. I told Mike and Zane we better get out of Dodge and they made me drink a "Jagerbomber"? Or maybe I drank the shot before I defiled the sink. That part of the evening is kind of sketchy for me. We headed to Solvay to Singers, a karaoke bar. I texted Karen to pick me up there. Karen didn't know where the bar in Solvay was so she called Kristin to ask her for directions. So, Kristin gets a call while in the Poconos from Karen asking for directions to a karaoke bar in Solvay. She must have thought that was a rather random call. Karen explained I was with Mike. Kristin said, no, Mike is home watching a movie. It turns out I threw Mike and Zane under the bus. I don't know if I'll be allowed to play with them anymore. Mike said the least you can do is buy the next beer. By this time I only had a dollar left on me. Karen and my son Michael arrived at Singers to pick me up. Michael is 18 years old and they wouldn't let him in to get me. I heard the commotion at the door and so did Mike. "You can have him," he said, "did you bring any money? He owes us beer." It was an adventure.

I just got back from WalMart. I don't go there very often. The girl checking me out was about 18 years old. She was very pleasant and was being very chatty and a little flirty. I had bought a dollar DVD from the impulse rack. The DVD was rated R and when she rang it up the register asked for age verification. She smiled at me and she said, "are you sure you're 17? You look awfully old to me." Then she blushed and stammered that that hadn't come out right, that wasn't what she meant. It was very funny and the other people in line all started laughing.

2008/06/21 20:40 Karen and I were supposed to go to a birthday party today. She wanted me to be ready to go at 3:00 PM. I drove Robert to work at 2:05 PM. I had to drop Robert at work, come home and take a shower, and be ready to go at 3:00 PM. It was going to be close but it was doable. I was very careful driving through the Village of Liverpool. I had been stopped by the police and warned a couple of weeks ago that I was driving too fast. I was going exactly 30 miles an hour after dropping Robert off when the cops pulled me over. I said I better call Karen and let her know I was being detained. But, I had forgotten my cell phone. I was outside doing some shoveling when Robert announced that he was ready to go to work. I had taken my phone out of my pocket and set it down on a table outside while I was working. Things were starting to look bad. I had been pulled over because of a mix up in our car insurance. I realised I had two options. The first was to sit in the car and wait for the cops to let me go. There was no question that with that option I would be subject to incredible amounts of bitching when I got home. My second option was to run for it. A high speed chase. I figured the cops would radio ahead and set up a road block. They'd put a couple of police cruisers across the road to block me off. I would crash right through their police cruisers and then they would know I really meant business. Next they would put those strips down on the road that blow out your tires. I still wouldn't stop. As all the rubber peeled off the wheels I would still be screaming along with the metal rims on bare pavement throwing showers of sparks in my wake. Finally, they would disable the minivan with a shotgun blast to the engine block. At this point I would have to run on foot and here is where I would be cut down in a hail of bullets from the Liverpool PD. I had to analyze the pros and cons of the choices available to me. On the one hand the leaden justice spit out by the guns of Liverpool's finest would be quick and merciful. On the downside, while merciful, it would be fairly permanent. And, on the flip side, I have in fact survived many bitchings. So, I sat in the van and waited for the cops to let me go. I got home and Karen, in all her fury, was waiting by the front door. "I hope you're happy! You got what you wanted." (Damn, maybe I didn't make the right choice) Karen had to leave immediately, she couldn't wait for me to shower, and now I couldn't go to the party. Unfortunately because Karen was in a hurry to leave she couldn't get all her anger out before she left. Luckily she had her cell phone and so she was able to call me from the car and vent at me as she made her way to the party. Then it rained on me. It was a heavy soaking rain. I didn't get hit by lightning so I guess it could have been worse.

Marguerite is one of my very best friends and she was there for my birthday.

2008/06/12 22:30 So ends another trip around the sun. Fifty one times now I've circled the sun on this chunk of rock called Earth. It was an absolutely beautiful day today. It was a spectacular and near perfect day to be alive.

2008/06/11 20:30 Tonight it is the eve of my 51st birthday. A couple of weeks ago I was at the block party at the Syracuse Inner Harbor and I had told Linda Burke that my birthday was in two weeks. I told her that I was planning on celebrating at the block party in two weeks. She asked how old I was going to be and I said that I was going to be 51. She asked, "so, are you okay with that?" Yeah, I am. I'm glad to be here. I really am glad to be here. I'm not happy with every little thing and sometimes life is still a struggle but I have to say that overall, yeah, I'm glad to be here. I'm looking forward to my birthday party tomorrow.

Adison and Megan at Vona's

It has been almost two full years since I had the heart attack. For at least the first year I was really good about always having my nitro pills with me. I have never had to use them and lately I'm not very good about making sure I have them with me. Megan's apartment is on the second floor and carrying the futon up the stairs I got to thinking this would probably be a good time to have the nitro pills just in case. I don't even know where they are now. I might have lost them. Anyways, we got the futon up the stairs and set up with no major medical problems. After we finished I took Adison and Megan out to dinner at Vona's.

The band Gonstermachers.

2008/05/25 1000 It is the Sunday before Memorial Day. I went to Freedom of Espresso for coffee this morning as usual. I had to go by myself. Karen has to work and Adison is in Oswego. I took Adison and her futon up to Oswego on Thursday after work. She is going to live in Megan's living room for the summer. It will be the three girls living together; Adison, Megan, and Morgan. Morgan has four legs.

2008/05/20 23:00 It has been a long time since I wrote anything for my website. It has been even longer since I wrote anything for my blog on MySpace. I have been getting a lot of work done in my "Tiki room". Last Saturday night Karen and I went to the Palace theater for the taping of the radio program "Says You". We parked at Kathy and Phil's house and then the four of us walked to the Palace. Before the show we ate at the cafe; sat at an outdoor table. The show was fun. Later that night we went to Shifty's and saw the band Gonstermachers. The music was great. To me it was blues with a cajun flavor. Both Karen and I were reminded of Beausoleil in a good way. The harmonica player in the band went to LaFayette High, same as me. His wife, Stephanie Jacques (now Waterman), was in my graduating class. I haven't seen her since graduation which was 33 years ago. She was there and when it was pointed out to me that she was there I looked and thought, no, that must be her mother. How silly of me. I was looking for the 18 year old girl I used to know. Too funny. We had a nice talk. She looks great; wears her gray hair well. I am definitely going to want to check out the band again.

2008/05/02 19:00 I finished the design for the invitations for my birthday party. I just need to have them printed. I think I will have them printed at Kinkos.

2008/04/27 11:00 Last night Elsie brought home a little baby bunny. She brought it into the house and dropped it on the hardwood floor in the living room. I thought it was dead. As it lay motionless on the floor I noticed it's little heart beating. I told Karen to get a box to put it in. I figured it was gravely injured and the least I could do would be to let it die in peace. Karen brought me a towel and I picked up the little bunny and put it on the towel. When I picked it up I couldn't see any blood anywhere. Once the bunny was safe from the cat it perked up a little. I think it had been playing dead. I took it out back and put it down, still on the towel. It wandered off. When I checked this morning there was no sign of the bunny. I don't know if it found it's way home or not. I hope so but I suppose I will never know. A couple of years ago I picked Adison up when she got out of work at the Panera in Fayetteville. We were headed home at about 11:00 PM. When we got down by the canal there was a big old snapping turtle crossing the road. A turtle that big had to be pretty old. I couldn't stand the thought of it having lived it's life only to be killed by a car. We blocked the road. I put on my flashers and then we directed traffic around the turtle until it was safely off the road. It must have taken about twenty minutes. The turtle wasn't in any hurry. We were smart enough not to try to pick it up and carry it. It was a big snapper and I'm sure it had a pretty good bite. I haven't written anything in over a week. That is probably just as well. I've been in a mood, a pretty good funk, for the last week and I don't know if I'd really have liked some of those thoughts from last week to have made their way to the written word. On Friday night Karen and I went to Syracuse Stage to see "The Fantasticks". I enjoyed it. One of the themes is that we need pain for growth. "Without a hurt the heart is hollow." We like to believe in fate, destiny, predestination....whatever you want to call it. Don't we? We like the idea of a guardian angel looking out for us. The notion of a higher power that cares about what happens to us. I don't know what I believe. Sometimes I just want to retreat to a safe place. But there is no safe place. A safe place is an unattainable ideal. There is no such thing as "the peacable kingdom". "The rivers are full of crocodile nasties and He who made kittens put snakes in the grass. He's a lover of life but a player of pawns." Jethro Tull. Sometimes I think there must be some purpose to existence. Other times I wonder, "what if there isn't?"

2008/04/18 16:45 TGIF Baby! And what an absolutely gorgeous day it is out. I got home from work and I had a rather important looking letter in the mail. Very official looking. I opened it up:

"Dear Senior Citizen, We are proud to announce a Senior Final Expense Program to help pay what Social Security does not pay for your final expense. At present Social Security only pays $255. This Senior Plan will pay 100% of all funeral expenses not paid by Social Security."

Okay, I have a couple of problems with this. First, I am only 50 years old. I thought senior citizen status started at 55. Besides, what happened to the whole "50 is the new 40" thing? Second, I won't need $255 if my final wishes are adhered to. I want someone to just dig a hole in the side lot next to where my cat is buried and then "plop". I'm good to go.

2008/04/17 23:45 I have been listening to Donna Colton a lot this week and especially listening to the song "Evening Ride". Twilight. I like the word. I like the whole concept. That place where day is not yet night. Where night is not yet day. If there is a time where magic or mysticism could hold sway it would have to be twilight. It has been a rough week. I don't really know why I say that. I just feel that I've been struggling and that I have been losing the struggle. I was sick Tuesday morning. I woke up shivering about 2:30 AM. I ended up throwing up. I hate that feeling when you know it's coming. You know that you are going to feel better after you do it, but you still don't want it to happen. I tried to go to work but that was a mistake. I ended up coming right back home and crawling into bed. Karen was sick too and we just slept all day long. Sometimes I feel so lost. I don't know what I want or what I need.

2008/04/13 09:00 Karen hasn't been feeling well this weekend. Adison is in Oswego. So, I went to get coffee by myself this morning. I didn't wear a jacket. I just went out in a T-shirt. It was a little too chilly for that. Wishful thinking on my part. Spring is here but it is not as warm as it looks. I should have worn a jacket. I went to my usual haunt; Freedom of Espresso. I perused the morning paper. My review didn't make publication this week. I am feeling kind of lost this morning. I have a bad case of the 'blahs'. I am having a hard time with motivation lately. I think the problem is that my stress level is way too high. Karen thinks I need to go back to see my therapist. I think next weekend I might take a day trip. Go do some bird watching. I find that relaxing. I need to clean out some of the stress that has been accumulating. I had misplaced my cell phone charger. Once the charge ran out on my phone I couldn't use it anymore. I finally found my charger (okay Karen found it). The problem was that once I had my charger again I couldn't find my phone. I had stopped carrying my phone around. There was no point in carrying the phone since it didn't work. It wasn't like I could call the phone to help locate it since it wasn't charged. I found the phone this morning. I reunited phone and charger and they are connected right now, plugged into an outlet, and doing what they do. I don't think I am going to write anything in my MySpace blog this week. Sometimes I don't feel like I have anything to write about. This would be one of those times.

2008/04/16 22:00 e-mail to Emily Kulkus at the Post Standard Emily, thanks for my stint as community critic. I had a lot of fun. I work right around the corner from the Post Standard. I work for National Grid and my office is in the Art Deco building. I am on the Commercial and Industrial team and I manage customers with multisites. A lot of business these days is done by e-mail and phone. I have customers that I have worked with for many years, that I have very real business relationships with, that I have never met in person. When my reviews started to appear in the paper I started getting e-mails, "Is that you in the paper?" This of course led to a lot of jokes, "I know what you look like now but you still don't know what I look like." Like I said it was a lot of fun. I contribute to some online forums and I have a couple of blogs and some acquaintances from those other worlds I inhabit found their way to comment on my reviews from time to time. As an aside, I wonder if you could forward this to Dave Tobin? I don't have his e-mail address but I'm assuming you might have access to it. I learned last night that he is a features editor at the Post Standard? Dave and I were friends many years ago. We didn't stay in touch and I haven't seen him in more than 20 years. Last night I was at the Friends of the Central Library Rosamund Gifford lecture series to see and hear Mary Oliver and I was pleasantly surprised to see Dave do the introduction. I thought it was a great piece and I just wanted to let him know that and to say "hi". Thanks again for everything, Scott

It was hump day today. Not a great day at work. Half way through the week and I was feeling pretty ho-hum middle-of-the-road pretty blah and then I got this cool virtual Khan Tiki Mon from my friend Scott ( he is also sort of friendly with Adison ). Thanks Scott!

2008/04/09 21:45 Check this out! My buddy Scott made me this wicked cool virtual Khan Tiki Mon.

2008/04/03 21:30 The last couple of weeks it hasn't seemed like things have been going very well for me. Then today, Karen, my wife of 24 years, left me. I thought things couldn't get any worse and then when I sat down to watch the new episode of "Lost" tonight I found out that there was no new epsode of "Lost". It was another repeat. Is there no end to my disappointment and suffering? Karen is going to be gone until Sunday. She is on her 'girls weekend'.

2008/04/06 12:00 It is an absolutely beautiful day. I am declaring today to be the first day of Spring this year. I got up this morning and headed to Freedom of Espresso for coffee. I went by myself since the women in my life that accompany me from time to time were nowhere around. I was listening to "The Blue Moon Cafe" with Mimi Griswold and there was a song playing that I loved. I hadn't gotten too far out of the parkway and I said to myself I have to turn around and go back home. If I don't look up this singer and song I'm going to forget it. So, I went back inside and googled the singer Donna Colton. I was surprised to read that she was from LaFayette NY which is my home town. How funny that I have never heard her music until this morning. I went back to the car and continued on my trek to Freedom of Espresso. I had a coffee and read some of the paper. They always have a couple of copies of the Sunday paper strewn around that you can read. I couldn't find the CNY section. I was curious to see if any of my reviews had been published. I was heading over to Wegmans next and so I had to wait until I got my own copy of the paper to see if any of my reviews were published. I left Freedom and went out to the Saturn and when I got in the car was all toasty warm from the sun. It was different than car-heater heat it was sunshine heat. It felt so good. On the way to Wegmans I rolled down the window and it was very nice. At Wegmans they had pistachio walnut muffins. Those are my favorite muffins and they haven't had them for months and months. I asked at the bakery once and they told me they were seasonal. Well, the pistachio walnut muffins are back in season. After I left Wegmans I went to the Fair Trade store to get a gift card for Caitlin for her birthday. They have an Indonesian or Balinese mask there that I want. The price is too much for me right now; I am too broke. I came home and when I checked the paper two of my reviews had been published.

2008/04/07 23:30 review submitted to the Post Standard

"Battlestar Galactica" Episode: He That Believeth in Me

Air Date: April 4th 10:00PM on SciFi

Admiral Adama and the crew of the Battlestar Galactica are back for the fourth and final season. Dr. Gaius Baltar, in the first season, was duped by the Cylons and helped in the near extermination of the human race. Later, when the human survivors settled on New Caprica Baltar had been elected president. As president of the colony he surrendered to the Cylons and after liberation was accused of and tried for war crimes. He was acquitted but Baltar knows what he himself is guilty of. A small sect takes Baltar in after the trial and they look on him as a spiritual leader. One of the women has a child that is sick. Baltar prays for the boy and asks that his life be taken instead of the boys. When an assassin makes an attempt on Baltar he sees the assassin as the hand of God; as the answer to his prayer. He begs the assassin to kill him. Baltar survives the attempt on his life and the boy is miraculously healed. Is it coincidence or faith? The humans worship multiple gods. The Cylons, the machines created by the humans, believe in one true god. Can a machine have a soul? In season three Kara Thrace, call sign Starbuck, took her Viper into a maelstrom and we saw her ship destroyed. She has mystically returned in a Viper without a scratch on it and she claims to know the way to Earth. But in the season three prequel "Razor" Kendra Shaw meets with the Cylon-hybrid and is warned that Kara Thrace will lead humankind to the apocalypse. It has all happened before and will happen again. Can you escape your destiny?

2008/04/02 17:00 Last week I bit the inside of my cheek. I bit a good sized chunk out of my cheek. Have you seen that show where they have contestants answer questions while they are connected to a lie detector. The piece I bit out of my cheek was large enough that if I was on the show and I was asked if I had ever eaten human flesh I would have a hard time answering. Does it count if it is your own flesh? How big a piece does it have to be to count? Anyways, the inside of my mouth was sore for a couple of days and then it must have gotten infected. On Thursday the inside of my cheek, where the damage was, swelled up to the size of a golfball. It must have been like an abscess. I started to feel very sick which was probably my body's immune system trying to fight off the infection. I went to bed early on Thursday night and vowed to call the doctor first thing Friday morning. Maybe I was running a fever and I think maybe the infection or the fever may have led to the dream I had. I dreamed that I was going back to college. I was looking for an apartment to stay in. I wasn't looking by myself. I was going to be rooming with a co-worker and he was with me. This particular co-worker is not anyone that I have ever had in any of my dreams before. In the dream we went to a two family house that was for rent. The first floor apartment was where we looked first. It was a nice apartment except for the fact that the ceilings were about four to five feet high. You couldn't stand up inside the apartment so you had to walk around all hunched over. The rent was reasonable but we decided to look at the second floor apartment. On the way up the stairs to the second floor, in the landing in the stairwell, there was a nightclub with live jazz music. It seemed to be a popular spot and there were quite a few people hanging out listening to the band. The second floor apartment was much larger than the first floor. The views of the city were spectacular. The one drawback was that the bathroom was in the living room. There was a toilet in the living room. There were no walls around the toilet, there was just a toilet in the middle of the living room. The real estate agent said it was the latest thing. All the really modern houses had the toilet in the living room, she said. I asked about privacy and the agent said if you really wanted privacy you could use the tub. She took us to where the tub was which was behind the stairs. The tub was one of those claw footed tubs and there was a shower curtain on rings that encircled the tub. There was a hinged toilet seat that could be maneuvered to hang over the tub. The real estate agent said it might not seem sanitary to defecate into the tub where you were going to clean yourself but that's the way it was set up in all the really modern houses. Then I woke up. I was up for quite awhile before I remembered the abscess in my cheek. During my sleep the golfball sized swelling had completely disappeared. My body fought off the infection without any medical intervention and all I had to endure was a really weird dream. Lately, aside from the cheek biting incident, my sleep has been fitful anyways. I don't seem to sleep as well as I used to. Karen says it is because I am becoming more insane. Maybe she said I'm crazy. Something like that. I don't know what she's trying to say. This past weekend was just too damn cold. I really want spring to be here.

2008/03/25 08:00 review submitted to the Post Standard

"South Park"

Episode: Britney's New Look

Air Date: March 19th on Comedy Central

I think that some of the best satire on television today is on the show "South Park". I find it fascinating that Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators, can deliver such high-brow messages in such a low-brow package. Thirty some years ago when I was in high school we read the short story "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson. It is considered a classic American short story and my kids also read it in high school. In the short story, a small town in America sacrifices a member of the town each year to ensure a good corn harvest. The sacrifice is selected by lottery and then the rest of the town stones that person to death. In a recent episode of "South Park" called "Britney's New Look" the boys try to save Britney Spears. She has been chosen as the sacrifice and she must die to ensure the corn harvest. Instead of being stoned to death she is photographed to death. Near the end of the show the townspeople have her surrounded in a field and they all are snapping pictures of her. The camera flashes replace the stones from "The Lottery". A woman gives a camera to a little boy mirroring the short story where a woman gives a stone to a little boy. "South Park" is some of the most intelligent humor on TV today but it is packaged in a way that invites controversy. The show is frequently vulgar and delights in using taboo and offensive subject matter. The show addresses the most divisive issues of the day and then lampoons all sides and everyone involved.

2008/04/01 08:00 review submitted to the Post Standard

"Lewis Black's the Root of All Evil"

Air Dates: Wednesdays on Comedy Central

Comedians write a stand-up routine. Then they take it on the road. They travel from comedy club to comedy club. Based on audience responses they drop the bits that don't work. They experiment with timing and delivery until the routine is perfected. With the advent of DVDs we are seeing the release of retrospective box sets showcasing a legendary comedians career. These may have six, seven, or eight HBO specials that span a period of ten or fifteen years. These box sets just illustrate the amount of time and preparation that goes into a good stand-up routine. Now we have cable channels that need programming 24 hours a day seven days a week. Comedy Central is one such cable channel and it needs comedic programming. I think that Lewis Black's stand-up comedy is brilliant and inspired. He now has a weekly series on Comedy Central. If you expect the comedy on the weekly show to be at the same level as his stand-up you are going to be disappointed. Writing for a deadline has got to be so different than how a stand-up piece is developed. With that said the new series is humorous if not outright funny all the time. Lewis Black is famed for his angry delivery. Sometimes he seems to get so worked up in his shows you are afraid he is going to stroke out. The premise of the show is that Black is the judge and two comedians each make the case for what is the root of all evil. Then Lewis Black makes his decision on which is more evil. With past shows like "Oprah or the Catholic Church" and "Donald Trump or Viagra" you know it's bound to offend someone. The show is worth watching for a laugh or two.

Tristan on Easter morning 2008.

Khan Tiki Mon on Hatteras Island, Outer Banks, NC in 2006.

2008/03/17 08:00 Happy St. Patrick's Day.

2008/03/18 08:00review submitted to the Post Standard

"Best Week Ever"

Air Date: Friday March 14th on VH1

I love the show "Best Week Ever" on VH1. It airs Friday at 9:00 PM and then is repeated a few times over the weekend. Basically it is clips from the previous weeks TV and celebrity gossip. I have no desire or ability ( I work for a living ) to watch all the daytime talk shows. But if something outrageous happens on Tyra's talk show there will be a clip on "Best Week Ever". Then there is a stable of comedians to comment. It's a great format. This past week, as you can imagine, there was a lot of stuff about our former governor. Classic stuff that I would have missed, were it not for "Best Week Ever", included Meredith Vieira on the Today Show interviewing Logan and "Mysterious". No one could get an interview with 'Kristen' the call-girl but Meredith interviewed her purported friends. One of the cable news shows brought in Heidi Fleiss, former madam, as an expert to interview. She said, "this has been going on since Adam and Eve." And then one of the comedians says basically, is Heidi saying Eve was a prostitute? She charged apples? Don't remember reading that in the bible. It was all too funny. If you want to feel like you are really up to date on pop culture and you want to have some good laughs at the same time then check out "Best Week Ever".

2008/03/23 12:30 The week that was - where did it go? This past week just seemed to fly by. It is Easter morning. There is no snow but it is very cold. It is not Spring as far as I'm concerned. Not yet. There are signs of Spring and you can tell that it is close - but no Spring yet. Karen took Robert to work and then she is going to work herself. Michael and Adison are still sleeping so it was just Ariel and Tristan and I this morning. I made eggs Benedict for breakfast. It is nice to cook for someone that appreciates the effort. Ariel seems to like my cooking and she tries everything. That's cool. Tristan is fun to have around. I have to keep my distance though. For some reason he seems to find me scary. Karen would say that's because I look like a terrorist but I think Tristan is too young to know what that means. I am really looking forward to spring. I want to get working outside. I want to stand in the sun and feel the warmth of the sunshine. Soon.

khan tiki mon's rants and rambles

(part deux)

More of What's Going On??

My Rants and Rambles page was getting too big. So I am starting a new and improved Rants and Rambles page. I started this website on March 17th, 2007 - St Patrick's Day. That wasn't by design, that's just how things happened. I am starting my new Rants and Rambles page on March 17th, 2008. At this point I am going to add a warning. Karen says I include too much information on the website here and especially on my Rants and Rambles page. So, if you decide to read further please consider yourself warned - There may be TMI ( too much information ) ahead.